


It Was Jon

by Current521



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn, Tags to be added, University, mostly canon-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Current521
Summary: Georgie goes back to university after a year out. Here she meets Jon; quiet, polite, nice, Jon.
Relationships: Georgie Barker/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 177
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think their ages are wrong compared to canon, I've set this around 2001 which I know is too early, but I had an aesthetic to commit to. Other than that, it should be canon compliant, but who knows what I've missed

Georgie hadn’t had the best first year of university. Year and a half, really, but she'd barely managed to finish the first semester.

But it was January, a year later, and she was picking her education back up. All her old classmates and friends were the year above her now, and she was being thrown into a new class, but the English department wasn’t small, so it wasn’t like everyone knew everyone by their first year anyway.

She walked in for the first class and took a seat next to a mostly-nondescript guy; half-long hair, nice trousers and a button down, but then a leather jacket over all of it. “Hi.” She smiled. “I’m Georgie.”   
“Jon.” He returned her smile, but he also looked like she’d startled him. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”   
“No worries. Hey, who’s teaching this year? It was supposed to be Dr. Alcott last year, but I hear she retired.”   
“I wouldn’t know.” Jon turned back to his book. “I don’t know, really, I haven’t checked.”   
“Yeah, me either.” Georgie pulled out her own book. “By the way, which edition is this? If they’ve updated it I’m gonna riot.”

“Uhh…” Jon checked the title page of his book. “Eighteenth.”   
“Thank God.” Georgie laughed. “I took a year out,” she clarified. “But I had time to buy my books for this semester last year.”   
“I doubt there’d be many updates in just one year.” Jon smiled, but didn’t stop reading; Georgie could see his eyes moving even while he spoke. “Frankly this reads like it hasn’t been updated in a decade at least.”   
“Yeah, tell me about it.” They were early, Georgie suddenly realised; the auditorium was only then beginning to fill. “Say, how did you like the first semester?”   
“It was fine." Jon shrugged. "What about you?"

"Alright. Not the most interesting thing that's ever happened, but it's the first year of university."

"Yes, it really is." Jon actually looked up from his books to smile at her. "How come you took a year out?"

"I got sick." It was a practiced response. "Had to take a few months out, and at that point a whole year just seemed smarter."

"Makes sense."

The class started and both Jon and Georgie turned their attention to the lecturer. Well, Jon seemed to; Georgie kept half her attention on him. He was odd, seemed like he was likely to be a bit of a twat, but also just incredibly  _ weird _ . Given her track record with Alex and the dead woman the year before, becoming immediately fascinated with the weird guy in her new class was probably not smart, and she should just go track down her old classmates for lunch.

When the class ended, Georgie was about to leave, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. "Georgie?" It was Jon, of course. "Lunch on me?" He was smiling again, and had actually put his book away, and honestly, Georgie hadn't kept in touch with anyone at uni after leaving, so might as well make new friends.

She smiled back. "Oh, sure, thanks." She hitched up her back. "Any preferences on where to go?"

"Not really, but since you've gone here for longer you probably know more about what's here than I do." Jon led the way out of the auditorium. "But I normally just drink coffee."

"Instead of eating?" Georgie laughed. "Alright then coffee boy, I know where to go."

She led him to a coffee shop that she used to go to with Alex and let him buy her a sandwich and himself a coffee and took a seat. They chatted a bit about life — he was from Bournemouth, apparently, and had grown up with his grandmother and was, apparently, studying English because he didn't entirely know what to do with his life. She wasn't quite sure she believed that one; he seemed far too focused for any 18-year-old, let alone one who didn't know what to spend his life on. But he was nice enough, she supposed, and he seemed genuinely interested in her answers and, unlike literally any other boy she'd hung out with in the past year, he didn't flirt with her. Or maybe he did and it was just so badly that she didn't realise, but she'd find out soon enough, and until then, she was happy to be friends with him.

She had a literature class after lunch and he had… Something, she didn't quite catch it, so they said their goodbyes and moved on.

Jon was in several of her classes, so Georgie used him as a safety net and went and sat with him every time she saw him over the next few weeks. She was grateful that he seemed to seek her out as well, and every Monday, they'd go eat lunch together. Or well, Georgie would eat lunch, Jon would drink coffee. She saw him eat exactly once over the course of six weeks, and that was when he stole one of the starbursts she'd brought to class.

By the time they hit mid-March, she knew exactly four things about Jon: he was from Bournemouth, he'd grown up with his grandmother (not that she knew why, he was evasive about his parents), he drank his coffee black, and he could never read the same book twice. From observation she gathered that he didn't really have friends other than her, and sure, he was kind of insufferable, but he was nice enough and he  _ listened _ . He listened to her talk about how hard it was to reconnect with her old classmates, and how hard it was to come into an established dynamic where everyone else had found their friends, and he was sympathetic to it all in a way she wasn't quite used to. So she liked him.

They paired up for their project, and it was fine. Georgie saw him eat, for once, when he went to her flat for dinner and work one evening.

It was that evening that Jon finally said something more involved than politeness or talking about schoolwork. "This is a nice flat," he said while they were eating. "I'm getting sick of student flats, it's so quiet here."

Georgie laughed at him a little. "Yeah, it's nice. Mind you, flats like this, you need to get a flatmate, and it's not nearly as quiet when Madeline is home."

"Yeah, I can imagine." Jon laughed. "But still, I have flatmates too, not nice ones mind you, and not ones I chose." He shook his head. "They're mostly okay, but Beckett has his girlfriend over almost every night…"

"Oh yeah that's rough." Georgie laughed with him, though a lot louder. "You could always give as good as you get." She didn't really mean anything by it, but she noticed the way Jon froze. "Or I guess that's hard without a girlfriend."

"Or with," Jon said, visibly relaxing. "Sorry, I just… Don't really—"

"Yeah that's fine," Georgie interrupted, probably too quickly. "It wasn't meant— Just a joke, that's all."

"Oh. Well." He sighed. "It's hard to tell."

"Of course." Georgie smiled. "Hey, I meant to ask, reading week is next week, are you gonna stay here?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Oh, Madeline is out, she's going with her boyfriend somewhere, so we can do work here instead of the library." She nodded to his plate, already empty. "I can make you dinner again, looks like you need real food."

"Thanks, but I can cook." He sounded just slightly affronted.

"You can, but do you?"

"No," he admitted, smiling slightly. "No, not much. My grandmother always cooked at home."

"What about your parents?" She'd never asked that directly, but she couldn't say she hadn't been curious.

"They're dead." Jon shrugged and reached for his glass. "Please don't say you're sorry."

"Alright, I won't."

"Thanks." He smiled. "I was very young and don't really remember them, so the real tragedy is my grandmother."

"How so?"

"I don't think she was really meant to have children, and certainly not to be handed a preschooler. She did her best, I'm sure, but…"

"Yeah, I know." Georgie smiled. "This past year, my parents haven't exactly been… Well. It was hard for them to understand."

"I thought you were out sick?"

"I was, just… Brain stuff." She did a vague gesture, because Jon was the most reasonable, down-to-earth man she'd ever met, and if she said she'd been bedridden with stress because she'd seen a corpse talk and then lost her ability to feel fear, well. She didn't think he'd want to hang out with her, and she liked hanging out with him.

He smiled softly. "Bit too early to university, then?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I suppose so." It was an easier explanation. "It's going better this year."

"I'm glad." The smile was sincere enough, she figured, but Jon could do with learning tonal emphasis.

Between lack of fear and poor impulse control, Georgie often said the wrong thing. "You know, when you say things that flatly it just sounds sarcastic."

Jon raised an eyebrow. "I'm… Glad?" Tone, sure, but hesitant. "No, judging from your face that's not good either. I'm glad."

"There we go." She laughed a little. "Sorry, I just… I don't know. I don't make friends easy."

"Me either." Jon shook his head. "Are you done eating? I'll do the dishes."

"You don't have to."

"Least I could do, you cooked." Jon got up and grabbed their plates and went to the sink. "And while I do the dishes, you can read over the assignment brief so you know where we're supposed to start."

She laughed. "So that's it, huh," she teased, but she went and got her folder and read through it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love knowing how universities work, rip to US-based fandoms' college aus, but TMA is different

Jon practically lived at Georgie's flat during their reading week. Partly because they had to work on the project, and partly because Madeline was visiting her boyfriend, and Jon's flatmate had his girlfriend over, and he didn't like staying there. And Georgie liked his company. She had other friends, but Jon was her closest friend by then, and he was the only one she didn't lose her patience with. She liked him.

So when Madeline came home at the end of reading week and found her and Jon on the couch, curled up together watching a movie, after knowing full well that Georgie spent more time with him than anyone else, it was hardly surprising that her response was, "Hi Georgie, I'll leave you two to it," with a wink.

Georgie sighed. "We're just watching a movie, you can join if you want," she yelled after her. Then she sighed. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this."

"No, probably not." Jon sounded weary, but there was a smile to his voice, too. "I've given up on correcting Beckett when he says you're my girlfriend. Well, I correct him, but I know he doesn't listen."

"Sometimes we have to let it go." Georgie sighed. "Hey, if you wanna catch the bus home you should probably leave soon."

"I'll walk, it's not far." Jon smiled. "And the movie's not done."

"I'll lend it to you."

"It's a video, I'd have to risk borrowing Beckett's VCR. No thanks." Jon laughed. "I know full well how much porn that boy keeps under his bed."

"On tape? Here I thought I was being old fashioned."

"Yes. Some magazines too, but frankly, I don't wanna think too much about it."

"Understandable. I mean, I just live in the assumption that every teenage boy has porn under his bed and I'm better off not looking."

"Yes, I suppose that's safer." Jon didn't make a comment on what was under his own bed, but if Georgie was to wager a guess, it wouldn't be porn. And not just because of the casual way he was laying with her, one arm curled around her waist without trying to grope her, though it certainly helped, but just because it was  _ Jon _ and there was no good way of explaining exactly what that meant.

And it didn't matter because the movie ended before she'd thought it through and Jon gently freed himself. "I should head home. Before it's too dark."

"Probably yeah." Georgie shrugged. "I mean, you're welcome to stay the night."

"Better not." Jon nodded towards the door to Madeline's room. "Don't wanna give her cause to think anything."

"True." Georgie stood up to give him a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Jon left, and almost as soon as the door closed behind him, Madeline came out. "So," she said, sitting down on the couch next to Georgie. "Who's the boy?"

"That's Jon."

"Jon?"

"You know, my close good friend Jon, guy in my class, doing my project with him… That Jon."

"Ah. Your boyfriend."

"We're not dating."

"Sure, so you go out all the time, spend most of your free time with him, go on lunch dates every week…" Madeline raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're not dating?"

"We're not." Georgie tossed a pillow at her. "One, I'm not interested in him, two, I think he's gay. Or just not into anyone."

"Hmm." Madeline threw the pillow back; it hit Georgie in the face and bounced to the floor. "Are you sure? He might just be awkwardly into you."

"And maybe he's just genuinely not interested. I don't know, it doesn't matter, because I'm not interested in him. He's my friend and I enjoy hanging out with him and if he ever tries to sleep with me I'm leaving."

"Whatever." Madeline rolled her eyes. "I don't believe you, but fine."

Georgie sighed. "You don't have to believe it for it to be true."

"Ask him out."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Didn't you listen? Not interested."

"Whatever." Madeline's sing-song voice and eyeroll said that she still didn't believe it. "Anyway, I'm going to get some groceries, do you need anything?"

"No thanks, I'll go out later."

"Suit yourself." Madeline got up and left.

Georgie stayed on the couch and put on another movie — she had perfected the art of reaching the VCR from her spot — and forgot that she had class again in the morning.

Jon woke her up the next morning, which surprised her. "Jon, what are you doing here?"

"You weren't in class and you didn't call, no one had heard from you, I figured I'd check in." He handed her a cup. "I brought you tea."

"Oh." She took it. "Thanks. Wait, how did you get in?"

"Madeline let me in." He sighed. "I think, as a general rule, watching a near-stranger go into your friend's bedroom is probably not the most responsible decision."

"Why not?" Georgie sat up properly; she slept in a shirt left over from a college boyfriend that didn't matter anymore, and it was Jon, she didn't care. "What difference does it make?"

"I don't know if I'd be comfortable with anyone but close friends walking into my bedroom." He just stood, still wearing his coat, that old, worn-out leather jacket he always had, hands deep in the pockets.

Georgie scooted over and gestured for him to sit on the bed next to her. "You are my close friend," she said.

"Yes, but— Oh." Jon sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. "I don't know Madeline."

"You don't need to. She knows I know you." Georgie, still tired and kind of wishing she was still asleep, leaned her head against Jon's shoulder.

He moved to sit next to her so she could lean more comfortably. "Not quite awake yet?"

"No." She leaned properly against him. "I kinda forgot that school started back up today, so I stayed up late. I'm fine though."

"Good."

They sat in silence for a while, Georgie drinking her tea. God she hated tea, but it was nice of Jon to bring it, and caffeine was caffeine no matter what.

Eventually, however, Georgie got up and got dressed. Jon averted his eyes, which was nice, but she didn't have the energy to care just then. It was Jon.

They went out for lunch like they normally did on Mondays, even though it was an hour and a half later than normal and Georgie was skipping her class for it, but it was nice anyway. Of course it was nice, it was Jon.


	3. Chapter 3

Spring went by too quickly, in Georgie's opinion. Between projects, nights out with her old friends, nights in with Madeline, lunches with Jon, lectures, studying, suddenly it was Easter and she went back to visit her parents. Two weeks of talking to no one from uni, except that she called Jon a few times because she knew he was alone. This, of course, resulted in some light teasing from her family, but she was so used to it from Madeline that it didn't really matter. It was Jon, he was alone, and he was her friend.

Madeline sat her down in the living room when she came back. "We need to talk."

"What's up?" Georgie asked. She was aware that she'd have been nervous in this situation, but apparently nervousness was fear, so she couldn't. That didn't mean she couldn't be wary. "Nothing bad, I hope."

"Not exactly." Madeline smiled reassuringly. "I just… So Michael and I talked about moving in together, and we have a new flat from May 1st, so I'll be moving out. I know it's kind of sudden, but I'm sure you can find someone to take over."

"Right." Georgie nodded. "Probably, I mean that's what, two weeks? Definitely." She didn't quite mean to sound as sarcastic as she did, but she also knew that Madeline was the one who fucked up, so she wasn't bothered. “I’ll see you later.” She got up and went to her room.

She called Jon. “Hello?”

“Hi Jon, it’s Georgie.”   
“I know, I have a call ID display.” He laughed. “What’s up? You just got home, I guess.”   
“Yeah, I did.” She chuckled. “Um, actually, can I come to yours? I’m pissed at Madeline and she’s home.”   
“Sure.” There was some scuttling on the other side as Jon apparently moved around. “I’m in the middle of making dinner, so if you can make it here in twenty I’ll even feed you.”   
“Thanks Jon. I’ll be there.”   
“See you then.” He hung up.

Georgie grabbed her jacket on the way out. “I’m going to Jon’s,” she yelled back at Madeline. “Don’t wait up.”   
“I won’t,” came the reply just as the door closed.

The walk to Jon’s wasn’t long, and it was warm out, so Georgie decided to walk even though she could catch a bus.

Jon had food on the table when she came in. “Hey.” He gave her a hug. “You’ve been crying.”

“You need tact,” she replied, wiping her face because he was right. “No I just… Madeline is moving out. May 1st. And I can’t really afford the flat by myself, which means I either need a new place to live or a new flatmate in two weeks.” She laughed. “I know you probably can’t help, I just wanted to get out of there for a bit.”

“Of course.” Jon smiled and pulled out a chair for her. “Well, I might be able to help, but that’s a different conversation.” He sat down across from her. “Eat.”   
Georgie took the offered food. “Thanks. Wait, how can you help?”   
“I’ve been meaning to get out of here for forever, and Beckett wants me out. To the point where he’s offered to pay my rent for the rest of the year if I move.” Jon shrugged. “So technically, if you need an emergency flatmate, I can just stay with you until I find somewhere else.”

“Oh.” Georgie smiled. It was Jon. Of course he had a solution. “Or you can stay, I think we can manage to live together, don’t you?”   
“Sure, but I didn’t want to appear presumptuous.” He smiled. “But yes, if you want, I’ll talk to Beckett and I can move in with you instead when Madeline leaves.”

“Thanks Jon.” Georgie got up and walked around the table to give him a hug. “Thank you. It means a lot.”   
“Oh.” He hugged her back. “Of course.”

Georgie went back around the table to eat, but she felt a lot better. It was Jon. She’d live with him and it would be fine and maybe people would finally stop assuming they were dating when they had separate bedrooms in the same flat. Or maybe not, but it didn’t matter, because it was Jon, and they’d be fine.

"Hey Jon?" They were sprawled out together on his bed after moving his things in.

"What?"

"Do you even care what people think of you?"

"Of course I do."

"No, I mean like… Strangers."

Jon sighed. "Of course I  _ care _ , Georgie, but I don't know. It's impossible to know what people think, so… Why bother?" He rolled over to look at her. "What's this about?"

"I just…" She sighed. "People still think we're dating, and it's annoying. Because you're my best friend, but if I tell someone oh, I'm gonna stay home with Jon, I get winks and nudges, and I’m so tired of it. And it never happened with Madeline.”   
“Madeline has a boyfriend,” Jon pointed out.

“Yeah and you’re gay.” Fear was a good thing, Georgie realised, because she absolutely shouldn’t have said that. “I’m sorry, I—”

“It’s fine.” He frowned a little. “I’m not, but it’s fine, I see why you’d think that.”

“Still. I’m sorry.”   
“It’s not that I’m gay, it’s just, I’m not interested in sex, and like, I’m almost 19. I still want a relationship… Maybe someday, at least.”

“Figures.” Georgie looked at her hands. “So you’re not in love with me?”

He laughed. “I never said I wasn’t into men.” It wasn’t an answer, but Georgie took it for one; it was Jon. He wasn’t. She’d just asked to be funny.

“I never said I wasn’t into women,” she replied, because, well, she was. “So, who’s the guy?”   
“No one at the moment.” He smiled. “Who’s the girl?”   
“No one at the moment.” She tried to mimic his tone. “Not that it matters.”   
“I suppose it doesn’t.” Jon looked at his watch. “Okay, it’s nearly 11 and I’m tired, I’m kicking you out, I wanna sleep.”   
“Alright.” Georgie sighed deeply, but got up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
“Yeah. Do you want me to wake you?”   
She made a face at him. “I’m nearly 20, Jon, I can wake up from an alarm.”   
“Alright.” He smiled. “Goodnight.”   
“Goodnight.” She walked back to her own room.

She regretted the assumption that Jon was gay, or at least the way she’d said it, but she couldn’t regret the conversation that ensued. It was Jon.

Georgie's 20th birthday was two weeks after Jon moved in, so she invited over a bunch of friends. Madeline came with her boyfriend Michael, as well as a few of her friends from the previous year she'd gotten back into contact with.

Madeline went up to Jon the moment she walked in. "Can I see my old room?"

He sighed. "Sure." He walked to his room, Madeline in tow.

Georgie could hear them from the living room. "Doesn't look like anyone's slept in this bed," Madeline said, and Georgie could almost see the sly smile and wink.

"I make my bed, Madeline," Jon replied deadpan. "It's 4pm, it's not like I just got up."

Georgie walked over and popped her head in. "My bed looks the same, Maddy, Jon makes me make it."

"Oh." Madeline looked disappointed. "Anyway, I still think you two are sleeping together."

"Why?" Jon raised an eyebrow at Madeline, but simultaneously glanced at Georgie with a look that said  _ save me _ . "Literally what implies that we sleep together?"

"You hang out all the time—" Madeline began, but Jon interrupted.

"We're best friends." He shrugged. "And I live here."

"But—"

"And it's none of your business," Georgie added. "Come on, Sarah will be here soon." She turned and left Jon's room. She could hear him and Madeline talking a bit more, but did her best to tune it out, talking to Michael and Sarah and Tanya and Justin.

Once everyone had left, Georgie sighed and looked at Jon. "Seven," she said.

"What?"

"Excluding your conversation with Madeline, there were seven insinuations that you and I are dating. And we only had five guests."

"People will keep thinking it until one of us gets into another relationship, and even then." He shrugged. "Just let it go, Georgie."

"I know."

"I'll take the dishes, you need an early night."

"Thanks."

"No problem. And happy birthday."


	4. Chapter 4

Georgie was away for most of the summer, back with her parents and travelling a bit around the country, but Jon seemed to never leave their shared flat. So one night in early August when she was home for a bit, she finally got around to asking while they were having dinner. "How come you've been here all summer?"

"I haven't," he replied. "I went to London."

"For two days, alone. What about your grandmother? Your friends back in Bournemouth?"

He laughed. "Georgie, I have exactly one friend in university, and it's you. Do you really think I have any friends from sixth form?"

"Your grandmother then."

Jon's expression shuttered. "I'm sure it was very kind of my grandmother to take me in instead of just leaving me in foster care or an orphanage," he said, his voice deliberate. "The kindest thing she could've done for me."

It was Jon. The deliberate, measured tone was sarcasm. "You don't like her."

"I don't know if she ever should've had children, but she certainly shouldn't have had grandchildren. I could've had a worse childhood, I'm sure, but I have no desire to talk to her." He shrugged. "Or about her."

Georgie nodded. "Understandable." She suddenly remembered something. “Were you alone for Christmas?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“It’s intentional, Georgie. I could’ve gone home, I just… Didn’t want to.”   
“I know, I know, but… No one should be alone on  _ Christmas _ .”   
“It’s fine.” He smiled. “I mean, you’re free to stay here if you wish, but it’s fine. I don’t mind the solitude.”   
“Some peace and quiet?”   
“Exactly.” He laughed. “Not that you make much noise.”   
She smiled. “Still. I can ask my parents if you can come with us for Christmas.”   
“You really don’t have to.”   
“I know, but still. I could.”

“Whatever you like.” He smiled. “I have some work to do, can I convince you to do the dishes?”   
“Sure.” She smiled back; he was smiling and sounded perfectly pleasant, but she knew him well enough; she’d crossed a line, and he wasn’t gonna be any good to talk to for a few days. It was Jon; he’d come round, she just needed to give him time.

Once the school year started up, Georgie realised, to her disappointment, that she and Jon had fewer classes together. Which was fine, because of course she saw him outside of class all the time, they  _ lived  _ together, but it was Jon and she missed their weekly lunches. He wasn’t any more distant than usual, not when they were home, but he did seem somehow shuttered. Stress, she assumed; he was prone to it, she’d noticed already in their first year, would consume more coffee than food, sleep too little, dark circles under his eyes.

She made him stay home with her for a weekend. “Georgie, I have work to do—”   
“Nope.” She smiled brightly and put a coffee down in front of him; it was Saturday morning and she’d just informed him that they had plans all weekend. “I’ve checked your deadlines and how far you are, you can take two days off. Seriously Jon, when was the last time you slept?”

“Wednesday,” he muttered. “And I napped yesterday.”

“Exactly. So we’re relaxing.”

“Georgie—”   
“Don’t you  _ Georgie _ me, Jonathan.”

“Oh I’m  _ Jonathan _ now, am I, Georgina?”

She grimaced. “Don’t call me that.”   
“Sorry.” He smiled. “Fine. What’s your plan for the weekend?”

“We’re watching  _ Star Wars _ .”   
“Why?”   
“Because you haven’t seen them and that’s a travesty. And because I got a DVD player for my birthday and bought the DVDs, so I wanna watch them. And because it’s several hours of making you lay on the couch with me.”

He rolled his eyes. “I hope you know you’re the only person who can make me do this.”   
“That’s why I’m doing it,” she said solemnly. “Come on.”   
They spent the rest of the weekend on the couch, watching  _ Star Wars _ and Jon didn’t complain, because it was Jon, and he wasn’t gonna complain about something that made Georgie happy. Or maybe he needed it as much as she suspected. Either way, it was a nice weekend, and Georgie was so happy she’d made him do it.

Jon was gone most of reading week, doing a project with some guy from their class that Georgie had forgotten the name of. He came home Sunday evening, wearing a t-shirt she knew he didn't own, and headed straight for his room without even saying hello.

Georgie made some coffee and knocked on the door. "Jon?" No reply. "Jon, I brought you coffee, may I come in?"

"Sure." The reply was muffled, but it was there.

Georgie opened the door. Jon was lying on his bed, shirtless and face-down, the t-shirt she'd noticed crumbled in a corner. He didn't really react to her coming in, so she sat on the edge of his bed and put the coffee on the bedside table. "So, this guy is a dick, huh?"

Jon laughed, but it was short and choked and Georgie could swear she heard a sob. "You could say that."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jon sat up and leaned against her; Georgie wrapped an arm around him and supported his weight; a little strange, given that he was half a foot taller than her, but they were used to it. "I don't know," he said. "It wasn't— I'm not good with relationships, you know, and I figured, might as well try." His pause was measured, artificial, and Georgie realised that Jon would make an excellent public speaker. "I really don't like sex."

"I'm going to kill him."

"No, no, not like that." Jon sounded equal parts amused, weary, and sad. "I just wish it wasn't expected."

"Ah." She thought about what he said for a moment. "He got mad at you for saying no?"

"Yes, I suppose that's what happened."

"I'm going to kill him."

"Why?"

"He made my best friend cry." Georgie pulled Jon into a proper hug. "And if that's not cause for a little murder…"

He laughed. "Better not, I still need him for the project."

"After that then." She laughed. "But seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

Jon reached for the coffee. "Do you want a t-shirt stolen from my ex?"

"No, but I'll take it off your hands." She laughed and leaned into the hug. "So, you wanna talk about it?"

"There's not much to say. I thought there was a guy I liked, and he turned out to be a dick." Jon downed the entire mug of coffee in one go, a talent that made Georgie feel the closest to fear she could. "That's about it."

"How long has it been?"

"Not long. A week. Barely a relationship at all, just… Flirting, I suppose you'd call it.”

“You don’t wanna talk about it.”   
“Nope.”   
“Alright.” Georgie moved so she was sitting properly behind Jon. “I need to call Madeline and let her know not to come over, I don’t want her to, do you mind being my excuse?”   
“Not at all.” Jon laughed. “Isn’t that what we do?”   
“Yeah.” Georgie pushed him away gently and got up. “You’ll be okay?”   
“Yeah.” He smiled weakly. “Yeah, thanks.”   
“Alright.” Georgie left to go call Madeline and cancel. She and Jon spent most of the night in his bed, drinking coffee and talking and listening to music. It was nice. Jon seemed happy enough, but it was Jon; she didn’t quite trust that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today because my outline disagreed with me, but I think the next one is longer than average????

Georgie went and found the guy after class a few days later. "Hey." She stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, sorry, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"What? Who are you?" He stopped and turned to face her.

"I'm Georgie, I live with Jon."

"Oh, his little girlfriend." The guy snorted, and Georgie felt anger in her chest.

"He asked me to give you this." She threw a punch; she wasn't a great fighter by any stretch of the imagination, but she could throw a punch with some weight, and the satisfaction was more than enough. "Actually he didn't, that's for upsetting my best friend. He asked me to give you this." She kneed him in the crotch and smiled. "Understood?"

"What the fuck?" He reached out, but Georgie was quicker and danced out of reach. "What the  _ fuck _ ?"

Georgie shrugged. "You upset my best friend." She laughed. "I'm not scared of you."  _ Or of anything _ , she added mentally, but that wasn't relevant.

That, more than anything, seemed to piss the guy off. He ran after her. "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Georgie was good at timing; their professor came out just then and, seeing the guy rushing Georgie with murder in his eyes, got between them. "What the  _ hell  _ is going on here?" he demanded.

"I was just telling him off," Georgie said before the other guy could get a word in. "Harsh words, sure, but nothing that warrants a death threat."

"She punched me!"

The professor looked at Georgie. "Did you?"

She just shrugged and put on an appropriately scared face.

The professor led the other guy and Georgie smiled to herself and left. She was perfectly prepared to get in trouble for it, but if she didn't, well, that was just a bonus. She was surprised, she hadn't actually denied anything, but then again, she was an excellent actor.

She grabbed some takeout for Jon, who was sick, on the way home, and didn't tell him what she'd done to his ex.

“Hey Jon?” They were having lunch at the coffee shop they used to go to every week; it was late November, and Christmas lights were coming up everywhere. “About Christmas…”   
“What about it?” He smiled at her over his coffee. “How long will you be gone for?”   
“I don’t know, not long.” She shrugged. “I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to come with me?”   
“To your parents’ place?”

“Yeah! I talked to them, and well… Okay, there’s a thing.”   
“A thing?” He raised an eyebrow. “What kind of  _ thing _ ?”

“So it’s been family rules forever that _only_ _family_ can go to _family functions_ like Christmas. Fortunately my dad’s an old fart, so boyfriends count as family, and well, everyone thinks we’re dating anyway…”  
Jon laughed. “So you’ll bring me home for the holidays on the condition I pretend to be your boyfriend?”  
“It’s not my condition it’s—”  
“I know, Georgie.” He smiled. “Thanks. It sounds lovely.”  
“Oh.” She smiled. “Thanks. I thought it would take a lot more convincing, but honestly, I don’t wanna go back there alone, so I was prepared to do it.”  
“I don’t wanna be alone. I don’t mind being alone, but there’s an option. And, as you said, apparently everyone thinks we’re dating anyway, so might as well.” He laughed. “For how long are we going?”  
“Not long. A week at the very most, but even that is too long. Not past Boxing Day.”

“Sounds good.” Jon smiled. “I have a class now. Walk me there?”   
“Sure, I need to stop by the library anyway.” Georgie hitched her bag up on her shoulder. “Let’s go.”   
“Let’s go.”


	6. Chapter 6

So when Christmas rolled around, Jon and Georgie got on a train together back to Georgie’s family. Liverpool wasn’t far, by any means, but the train services weren’t great and were, as usual, fairly delayed. It was fine; Georgie fell asleep on Jon’s shoulder within minutes on every train — she could never stay awake on a train, no matter how much she tried — and would eventually wake up to Jon having moved so she was resting against his chest instead, with his arms around her and his head resting on hers, asleep. She ignored what stirred in her chest, seeing him asleep; it was Jon. Nothing but relief that he was finally getting some rest.

Her mum came to pick them up at the station. “Hi mum!” Georgie gave her a hug.

“Hi Georgie.” Her mum hugged her back. “And who’s this?”   
“This is my boyfriend, Jon.” She gestured.

“Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Barker.” Jon smiled and shook her hand; Georgie was impressed with his calm. “And thank you for inviting me over for the holidays.”   
“Oh, please, call me Mary, everyone else does. And it’s the least we can do.” She picked up Georgie’s bag. “Haven’t you got anything, sweetie?”

Georgie elbowed Jon. “That’s you.”   
“Oh. No, just this.” He gestured to the messenger bag on his shoulder. “We’re only staying a few days, we figured one bag would do it.”

“Well then, let’s go.”   
Jon took Georgie’s hand as they walked towards the car. It surprised her a bit; it wasn’t the first time they’d held hands, but it wasn’t a thing they did. Then she remembered that they were pretending to be dating and it was probably the easiest way for him to pretend.

The car ride passed with her mum chattering away, and Jon occasionally answering her questions.

Her dad was waiting outside. “Georgie!” He pulled her into a hug. “How have you been?”   
“Hi dad, uh, I’ve been good.” She freed herself. “This is uhh, this is my boyfriend Jon.”   
“Hello my boy!” Her dad pulled Jon into a hug as well, and Georgie had to suppress a giggle seeing how he stiffened. “My name’s Joe, how are you doing?”   
“Uh, good.” Jon attempted to maintain some composure — and managed, by putting an arm around Georgie and using her as a temporary social shield. “Little tired from travelling.”   
“Liar, you slept the whole way.” Georgie put her arm around him. “But anyway, yeah, we’ll just go drop off our bags and stuff.” She led Jon upstairs, ignoring the protests of her parents.

“This is gonna be a long week,” Jon said once they were alone.   
“Four days,” Georgie corrected.   
“A long four days.”   
“I know.” She sat on the edge of the bed; a double bed, which she’d insisted on at 16, and was now grateful for, since it meant she wouldn’t have to share a four foot bed with Jon. “It’ll be fine, they’re a little… Intense I guess is the word, but they usually calm down pretty quick. Just keep being your wonderful, polite, awkward self and we’ll be fine.”

“We could pretend to have an amicable breakup.” Jon dumped his bag on the floor and sat down next to her. “Very polite. Very amicable. Changing absolutely nothing.”

“Better not.” Georgie leaned back to lay down. “I love you.”   
Something crossed Jon’s face; awkwardness, she decided, because it was Jon and he was awkward. “I love you too.” He laid down next to her. “And I’m happy to be here.”   
“I’m happy you’re here.” She rolled over to look at him. “We should probably go downstairs. Say hello, and also it’s almost dinnertime.”   
“Sure.” Jon looked at her. “You think our parents are actually gonna buy us dating?”   
“They have so far. You’re a private person, we don’t have to kiss or anything, and you’re already doing great holding my hand.” She sat up and held a hand out to him. “Time to face the lions.”   
Jon groaned but took her hand and followed her downstairs.

The first night passed pretty uneventfully. Then Georgie’s sister, Anna, arrived for lunch the next day, and the subtle teasing went up.

Jon took it a lot better than she’d expected. “I don’t like people watching,” he said when Anna asked why she hadn’t seen them kiss, and he ignored it.

It only got worse over tea. Anna came with comments about how they sat an inch apart ‘like it was the 50’s’ and that they didn’t need to. “It’s none of your business, Anna,” Georgie said, but she scooted closer to Jon and leaned against his side.

He rested his cheek on her head, switching the teacup of coffee to his other hand. “You don’t normally speak Scouse,” he mumbled, loud enough for Anna at least to hear. “It’s cute.”   
Georgie convinced herself that the blush was just because it was unexpected. The smile she sent Jon and the squeeze of his hand, however, was very intentional.

Anna coughed discreetly, but she didn’t have time to say anything before their father did. “Are you telling me you leave your accent at home?”   
Georgie shrugged, but she held on a little tighter to Jon’s hand, and this time, it wasn’t for show. “Yeah, I mean, everyone’s so posh.”   
“We all do it, I think,” Jon added, a hint of a regional accent; not as strong as hers, sure, he was Southern and it wasn’t as obvious — and, she suspected, as put-on as she'd initially assumed his regular accent to be — but it was nice. “No one wants to admit to where they’re from. It’s Oxford, after all, half our class have been going there for generations.”   
“Is that a Southern accent I hear?” Her mum asked.

“Yeah. I grew up in Bournemouth.” Georgie was often impressed with Jon’s ability to talk around the subject, but she realised just then that her parents were nosy and she was going to watch it in action.

“How come you aren’t there now?” It was Anna, studiously looking at Jon and not Georgie. “What about your family? Don’t they miss you?”   
“I’m an orphan.” Georgie had to repress a snicker when she saw Anna’s reaction. “So no, I don’t think they do.”   
“Sorry,” Anna mumbled.

“When did you lose them?” Her mum asked. “Recently?”   
“No, I was quite young.” Jon pulled Georgie closer and hid his face in her hair; it could almost look like a kiss, Georgie supposed, if you didn’t look too closely.

“Oh, apologies for Mary, she asks too much.” Her dad shot a look at both her mum and Anna that said  _ stop asking _ , and Georgie was grateful. And once again, Jon had managed to say less than what he’d told Georgie on their first date without sounding evasive.

_ Their first date _ ? When had she started thinking like that? She’d spent a year saying it wasn’t a date at all, and it wasn’t, it was Jon. The whole pretend relationship was getting to her, she decided, as she leaned closer to Jon and closed her eyes, listening to the others talk over tea. She didn’t quite notice that she’d drifted off until Jon gently woke her for dinner; he’d pulled her over to lay on his chest instead, just like he’d done on the train, just like he always did, but Georgie was suddenly conscious of his heartbeat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent chapter length? Never heard of her

After that, it was smoother. Anna and their mum had learned their lesson, and Georgie had too; her tentative crush on Jon was nothing but a tentative crush, and she could go back to ignoring it when they came home, and it would go away. She just hadn’t had a date in a while and the attention was nice, but it was Jon, and she didn’t want it from him.

For all she told herself that, she still found herself wishing he’d not turn his back on her when they slept in her bed.

Christmas morning rolled around. Jon received exactly one present, the one Georgie had bought for him — she hadn’t expected anything else, and it seemed that the awkward conversation about his family had dampened her own family’s desire to say anything — and only gave one to Georgie, but he sat in the corner with coffee and a sweater, and Georgie would occasionally go sit with him, but mostly stayed with her family.

Of course Anna had to ruin it. She saw them, half asleep, in the corner, and grabbed the mistletoe they’d been avoiding from the door and held it above their heads. “You’re under the mistletoe,” she said.

“So?” Jon made a good show of incomprehension; didn’t fool Georgie for a second, but it was fun to watch anyway. “What does that mean?”   
Anna, however, wasn’t phased. “It means you have to kiss.”   
“Anna—” Georgie began.

“Nope.” Anna smiled. “It’s tradition.”   
Jon sighed. “Anna, I really don’t think that’s—”   
“Tradition.”   
Georgie sighed and kissed Jon on the cheek. His skin was softer than she expected, even though it wasn’t the first time she’d touched his face, and she definitely blushed a little. “There you go. A kiss.” She sunk back to lean against his chest.

Jon wrapped his arms around her. “That wasn’t necessary,” he whispered, probably loud enough for Anna to hear; at least she looked a little ashamed.

They went back up to Georgie’s room shortly after. “Sorry about the kiss, I just, I needed Anna to shut up.”   
“I know, it’s fine.” Jon smiled. “It was a kiss on the cheek, Georgie, it doesn’t matter.”

“Still, I just…”   
“Hey, what’s up?” Jon pulled her into a hug, and it wasn’t until then Georgie realised she was crying. “What’s up?”   
“I just, I don’t know.” She held onto him tighter; he smelled like cologne and the detergent they used and coffee and home. “I think I just wanna go home. This is… It’s fine, but it’s just, I’ve been having a hard time.” She didn’t know where the words came from; had she? Before they’d gotten there?

“I know.” Jon rested his head on hers. “I know. But hey, we’re going home tomorrow.”   
“We are.” She leaned against him. “Do you mind if we stay up here a bit?”   
“Not at all.” Jon sat down on the bed, and Georgie followed him.

She wasn’t sure if she drifted off or just lost track of time, but she did something, and the entire time, Jon was holding her to his chest, and she didn’t have the energy to be confused about her feelings about it.

Nothing much happened the rest of the day, but Jon didn't let go of her hand except to eat, and it helped.

They were put on the train in the morning on Boxing Day, and Georgie immediately fell asleep on Jon's shoulder. As expected, he'd moved her to his chest when she woke up, but he wasn't asleep. He was looking at her. "What's up?" she asked.

"Not much." He smiled softly. "Just not really tired, I've had to actually get decent sleep these past few days with you."

"Yeah, well, maybe we should keep sleeping in the same room if it helps." She didn't really mean anything by it, or at least not intentionally, but she realised how much she'd want that, and how much she hated the idea.

She hid her face in his shirt and pretended like she went back to sleep. She swore she felt Jon actually kiss her head — not just leaning his face against her hair, but actually kiss her — before she drifted away.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything went back to normal, and Georgie's little crush subsided. Slightly. She kept reaching for his hand when they were just alone at home, or even when they were out, and Jon let her, but he never reached for her first.

That wasn't to say he wasn't acting slightly differently. They were home alone, having dinner, and Georgie was telling a story, then stopped herself when she got excited and a hint of Scouse snuck into her voice.

Jon laughed. "You don't have to hide the accent around me." His Southern was back, just a hint of it. "It's cute."

She rolled her eyes. "I thought you were just pretending to be in love with me."

"I wasn't." Still that soft smile she'd noticed lately. The one she'd first noticed when they'd been with her parents and she'd started having a crush on him. The one she'd attributed to Jon being a good actor.

She shook her head. "Stop that."

"What?"

"That smile! The ambiguous answer! Since when is  _ Jonathan Sims _ ambiguous?"

The smile was still there, but with a fair bit more amusement now. "I'm not ambiguous."

She stared at him for a few seconds, turning it over in her head. "Jon, are you actually in love with me?" Georgie missed her fear.

Jon shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know." He averted his eyes. "I think so, but I don't know."

"Okay." She got up and moved over to him, holding out her hand. "Okay."

Jon took her hand. "What are you doing?"

She pulled him to his feet, reaching for his other hand. "I thought… I thought I was just tired and starved for affection." She was staring at their hands. "When we were at my parents' place, I thought it was just the pretending and the fact that I missed anyone, but I think it's you."

"Georgie…" Jon's voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. "Hey, look at me for a second." She looked up; still that smile. "I think I'm in love with you." His voice was deliberate, measured, intentional. As was his movements when he leaned down to kiss her.

She stepped away automatically. "Jon…"

"Sorry."

"No, don't apologise!" She shook her head and gave him a tight hug. "No, don't apologise, I just… Didn't expect it, that's all." She pulled back and smiled. "Can I kiss you again?" She couldn't quite believe she was saying it, but yeah, his lips were soft and she could finally admit to how many times she'd imagined it.

"Yes." He still smiled, but it was a lot more smug now.

Georgie had wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face many times during their friendship, but she'd never imagined doing it by leaning up to press her lips to his, but that's what she did, and it was wonderful.

Jon laughed when she leaned away. "Hmm." He let go of one of her hands to touch his own lips.

"Jon, don't tell me this was your first kiss." She laughed. "What about whatshisface?"

"Joshua? Never got that far." He smiled a little. "He got to sex before he got to a kiss."

"Dick," Georgie said. She leaned up to kiss him again, very quickly. "He didn't know what he was missing out on."

Jon laughed and shook his head. "I know this is probably awful timing, but I'm really tired." He kissed her. "Tomorrow is Saturday, do you mind if we take this… Conversation, I guess — in the morning?"

"Not at all." Georgie smiled and put a hand on his cheek. "You wanna sleep alone." It wasn't a question; of course he did. She reminded herself there were many days to ask to share a bed, even if she knew it would always just be sleeping.

"If you don't mind."

"Not at all." One more kiss. "I'll see you in the morning."

"See you in the morning." Jon gave her a hug and then went to bed, leaving Georgie standing in their living room, alone.

She went to bed shortly after him, and she couldn't quite stop touching her lips either.

When Georgie got up the next morning, the flat was quiet, and Jon's door was still closed, even though he was normally awake before her. So she made coffee and went to knock. "Jon?"

"Yeah?" He sounded half asleep.

She pushed the door open and walked in. "Brought you coffee." She put the mug on the bedside table. "Good morning."

"Morning." He sat up and reached for the coffee. Then he looked up at her. "Sit, don't just stand there."

She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. It was Jon; since when had she become awkward around him?

Since they'd kissed.

He watched her for a few moments, holding his coffee. "I'm still Jon," he said eventually. "You don't have to be that careful."

He was right; she scooted back to sit next to him, leaning against his shoulder like she always did. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

He laughed and wrapped an arm around her. "What are you sorry for?" He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "As I remember it, I'm the one who kissed you."

"Yeah, about that." Georgie moved away slightly to look at him. "What the  _ fuck _ , Jon?"

He laughed. "It seemed right. You'd already called me out on wanting to, so…"

She took his hand. "How long?"

"What?"

"For how long have you been in love with me?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "A while. Since summer, I think."

"Jon, it's  _ January _ ."

"So?"

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

He sighed and looked down at their hands. "I don't know." He looked back up at her, and there it was, that soft smile that annoyed her and made her want to smile back.

She leaned over to kiss him. She tasted coffee on him, but it was Jon, of course he tasted like coffee. He didn't reach for her, but he kissed her back.

"Oh." His smile was different, a little more surprised, a little more self-satisfied. She wanted to kiss him again. "Georgie…"

"I know." Did she have any idea what he was about to say? No, but it was Jon. She'd find out.

"Do you?"

"Yes." She smiled at him. "Hey, okay, bad timing and we definitely probably should talk at some point, but can I kiss you again?"

Jon laughed and turned away, putting his mug down. "I almost spilled it before." He put his arm around her. "I don't mind."

She leaned up and kissed him again. This time he held her. This time she got to bury her hands in his hair, and it was Jon, so of course it was just a kiss, of course it was completely innocent.

She pulled away after a minute. "Jon, is this—" She laughed. "Are we actually, after a full year of insisting that we're not dating, are we actually?"

Jon laughed with her, pushing his hair out of his face. "It's been a year, huh?" He laughed and kissed her again, very quickly. "Yeah, I think so."

"I'm losing so many bets." She kissed him. "Come on, drink your coffee, I'll go make us breakfast." She got up from his bed, shaking her head slightly. "Can't believe I'm dating Jon Sims."

"You don't have to," he yelled after her, half-heartedly.

"I know, I'm choosing to," she yelled back.

She went to the kitchen and started up the stove, deciding that eggs and bacon was a good choice of breakfast for them.

Jon came out minutes later, dressed and holding his coffee mug, but somehow looking more tired than before. He walked over and rested his chin on her head. "Smells good," he mumbled.

Georgie elbowed him. "You're in my way, Jon." It was Jon; it was practically every weekend morning they'd spent together. It was familiar.

"Sorry, love." He stepped away, leaning against the counter next to her instead, still sipping coffee. "Do you need help?"

"No, that's alright." Georgie poured the scrambled eggs onto a plate and pushed it towards Jon. "Eat."

He took the plate and complied. "Any plans for the day?"

"I don't think so. It's Sunday, school starts back up tomorrow… I was thinking I'd spend my day right there." She pointed at the couch. "Care to join?"

"Yeah, I think that might be nice." He handed her the plate. "Aren't you gonna eat anything?"

"Not hungry." It wasn't entirely true but well, it wasn't wrong either. "Just eat yourself." She handed the plate back.

"Georgie…"

"I'll eat later, I promise." She smiled. "Also there's still a bunch of movies you promised to watch with me over the break that we haven't gotten to, so today is movie day."

Jon sighed. "Alright, fine."

"You don't want to?"

"I don't mind." He smiled slightly. "I'm not the biggest movie fan, they're all too similar."

"Right, can't read anything you feel like you've read before, I remember." Georgie thought about it for a second. "Okay, I have two movies I wanna make you watch, and other than that we can just hang out."

"Sounds good." Jon put his plate and mug down and kissed her. "I'll just take a shower, you can just start."

"I'll wait." The kiss had surprised her more than it should; of course he'd kissed her. He could.

He was gone before she'd really recovered.  _ You need to get used to that, Georgie, _ she told herself. Then she smiled.

By the time Jon came out of the shower, damp hair in a low ponytail, Georgie was curled up on the couch with the first movie already in. He settled behind her, one arm curled around her, resting on her side in the chaste way he'd always done. It was Jon, nice and familiar and still her best friend, even though she now noticed his lips in her hair.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am what some may call a soft bastard

It was unsettling how easily Jon switched to acting like her boyfriend. Holding her hand walking across campus, kissing her goodbye when they had separate classes, still the casual curl of his arm around his waist when they laid together on the couch, but now almost always accompanied by his lips in her hair. She enjoyed it immensely, enjoyed the way he blushed when she said she loved him, the way he said he loved her with wide, honest eyes, the way he kissed her, all the time, never seeming to get tired of it the way he did books or people who weren't her.

Madeline, of course, was the one to voice concern. "You really think living together in such a new relationship is smart?" They were having coffee.

"Not much to do about that now," Georgie replied. "Plus, we still sleep in separate bedrooms most days."

" _ Most days _ ?" Madeline raised an eyebrow.

"Every day."

"Georgie…"

"Jon doesn't do sex," she said. "I know you probably don't believe that, but we've been dating for two weeks and we haven't had sex. And we won't." Georgie had decided hard on that even before they'd started dating, even if Jon should offer. Which he wouldn't, because he would hate it.

"He's a teenage boy, Georgie." Madeline's face was sympathetic, but definitely also pitying. "Of course he wants sex, just because he's smart about it."

"And so what if he does?" Georgie rolled her eyes. "Oh no, I had sex with my boyfriend. Wouldn't even be the first time."

"That's not what I mean, Georgie. What when he breaks up with you?"

"Then we'll take that like adults. Maddy, come on, it's Jon. Lives off of coffee, makes his bed every day, literally had his first kiss at age 19, Jon. It's fine." Georgie looked at her coffee for a few seconds. "And I love him."

Madeline scoffed. "Of course you do." She got up. "I have to go meet Michael, but I'll see you soon!"

"Yeah, see you." Georgie emptied her coffee and got up as well. "Jon isn't home tonight, so I'm gonna get some work done."

"Have fun." Madeline grinned. "Don't get too caught up in dreaming."

"I was never this insufferable when you and Michael started dating." Georgie followed Madeline out of the shop.

"You were sick, so no." Madeline grinned. "But you would have been."

"Probably," Georgie agreed. And maybe she would have, before. Now, though, she wasn't sure. Whether it was the corpse or just her year away, she couldn't say.

"Jon?" It was late, and Georgie had fallen half asleep in Jon's bed, and hadn't bothered to say anything as he got ready for bed and laid down next to her.

"What's up?" He opened his eyes; she sensed more than saw it in the darkness. "I thought you were asleep."

"Sorry." She flushed; Jon preferred to sleep alone, and Georgie tried not to mind. "I was, just not entirely."

"It's fine." He reached out and put a hand on her cheek. "What's up?"

"How come you prefer to sleep alone?" Georgie really missed fear. "I mean, I don't mind, I just wondered."

Jon chuckled slightly, which she knew was accompanied by a smile. "I've always slept alone. I think it's just a habit."

"Oh." She leaned forward just enough to kiss him. "I just figured… If it was because of sex, don't worry about it. I don't care about that."

"I know." There was the ghost of a smile in his voice. "It's late, love, go to sleep."

Georgie sighed, but began to move, until she felt Jon's hand catch her. "I didn't say you had to leave."

She grabbed the edge of his duvet and got properly comfortable. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She closed her eyes. He still didn't hold her, but she didn't even mind; he was there. He'd let her stay, and not just because she was tired or asked, which is what had happened the other two times they'd shared a bed since Christmas. Maybe he  _ had  _ worried about sex, maybe he just worried about  _ her _ , but he'd let her stay.

She left anyway, once she was sure he was asleep; it felt somehow cheap to leverage his consent out of him instead of just asking. It was Jon. He wasn't going to burn himself out to keep others warm, not even her, but he was perfectly capable of pushing his own needs away for someone else. She just wished she didn't want to let him.

He woke her up the next morning. "You didn't stay." No accusation, and just the barest hint of curiosity.

"You don't  _ have  _ to sleep with me." She opened her arms; she was still tired, and it was Saturday. "What time is it?"

"Almost 10," Jon replied as he laid down with her, planting a quick kiss on her forehead. "And I know."

She hated that smile, smug and self-satisfied, the one she always wanted to punch off his face. She kissed him instead, and it worked. When he pulled away he wasn't smiling anymore. "Jon?"

"I love you." He had the same expression he did when he was lying to her.

"I love you too." She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you not telling me?"

"What?"

"You look like that when you're lying, but I don't think you are, so. What are you not telling me?"

He sighed and kissed her. "Nothing, Georgie." He pulled her close, familiar arms around her. "I was just worried when you weren't there when I woke up."

"I'm sorry." She hid her face in his chest. "I just, I didn't want you to do something you were uncomfortable with, but it was late and I didn't wanna argue about it."

"Georgie…" He pulled away enough to look at her. "You really think, with all the time we spend laying together like this, that I'm  _ uncomfortable _ sleeping next to you?" He laughed slightly. "I have a preference, sure, but it is just a preference. If it means something to you, we can share a bed. At least some days. I really don't mind."

"Okay." She kissed him. "I know it's like, late and stuff, but I'm really tired, so do you mind if I just fall asleep again?"

"Not at all." He laughed. "Come on, I can't fall asleep like this, but I know you like it, and I don't need to sleep right now." He pulled her to his chest, his chin resting on her hair.

"Thanks Jon," she mumbled into his chest, already half asleep again.

Her nap was maybe an hour, if that, but sleeping in Jon's arms was far better than anywhere else.


	10. Chapter 10

It was an uneventful spring semester, with too many classes and projects with people who weren't Jon and altogether not enough time with him. He slept in her room most days, and they ate breakfast together and mostly dinner, but their lunch dates were gone, weekends on the couch were almost nonexistent, and even nights together were largely spent sleeping quietly side by side and not talking. Of course they talked, it wasn’t that, but she just didn’t feel like she saw him much.

Easter was a welcome break; she stayed home with him, and while they both had plenty of work and projects with other people, they agreed to take two days just them.

Jon woke her up the first day. “Already?” She muttered.

“It’s nearly noon.” He ghosted a laugh. His laugh was almost always ghosted. “We haven’t properly seen each other in so long.”

“I know.” She opened her eyes; Jon was already fully dressed. “Do I smell… Jon, did you  _ bake _ ?”   
“No, but I did go to the bakery.” A proper laugh, this time. “I’d burn down our kitchen if I as much as touched the oven.”   
“Yes you would.” She sat up and held out her arms; Jon obligingly leaned in and hugged her. “Which is why I was so surprised.”   
“Rude,” he mumbled, but he kissed her on the cheek and got up. “Come on, breakfast. Before the bread goes cold.”

Georgie made a noise of protest, but got up and put on a shirt before following Jon to the kitchen. “Like, I love you, but I cannot believe you make me get out of bed on the weekends.”   
“I love you too.” He smiled. “Also, your birthday is coming up, what do you wanna do for it?”   
She glared at him. “Jon, I haven’t had coffee yet.”   
“I know, that’s why I ask. If I wait until you’ve had coffee you’ll just say you don’t know.”   
“Very rude.” She shook her head, then actually gave it a moment’s thought. “Last year we just had a few friends over, which was nice. But maybe we can kick them out this time and go on a date? Out for dinner, just you and me, we haven’t really done that. Plus, I think it coincides with our anniversary.”   
“I honestly don’t know when our anniversary is, but sure.” Jon smiled softly. “That sounds good.”

“Then that’s what we’re doing.” Georgie stabbed at him with the butterknife, not hitting by any means, but just to point. “You need tact.”   
“You’ve been telling me that for a year and a half now, love.” Jon laughed. “Other people think I’m quite a nice person, you know.”   
“Other people are right.” She scrunched up her nose at him. “You are nice, you’re just also very rude sometimes. To me specifically.”   
“You love me.”   
“Yeah, so?” She laughed. “I do. I do love you.”   
“I love you too.”

It was a normal day. Just a normal day at home with her boyfriend. But it was Jon, and it was special and lovely and soft, because  _ he _ was.

They had ignored Jon’s birthday, a week before Georgie’s, the year before, but it was his 20th and they were dating now. So Georgie made herself get up early, pretending to be careful not to wake Jon — she knew he wasn’t asleep, but she’d let him have it — as she got up to make breakfast. Why was breakfast in bed considered a romantic gesture?

And why, she thought as she walked back to her room with a tray, was she the one who'd end up with crumbs in her bed?

Jon didn't bother pretending to sleep when she came in; he got up to hold the door for her. "Good morning." He kissed her on the cheek. "Breakfast in bed?"

"Good morning." She put the tray on the bed and turned to kiss him properly. "And happy birthday."

He chuckled softly. "Thanks." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "We should probably go to the table."

"Jon! I'm trying to be romantic." She laughed. "Just let it happen."

"Well, thanks." He took a mug of coffee from the tray and moved back on the bed, gesturing for her to join. "You know you didn't have to."

"I know." She crawled up on the bed next to him and leaned over him to steal some bacon off his place even though she hadn't eaten her own yet. "I wanted to. It's your birthday, you're my boyfriend… You know."

"I know."

They ate together in her bed, pancakes and eggs and bacon and coffee. Their kisses were sticky with syrup, and it was the best morning Georgie could remember in a while.

It was a school day, so they had to go too soon, but they walked to campus together, hand in hand, and Jon walked her all the way to class. The guy he had briefly dated was there, and Georgie made sure to flip him off behind Jon's back when she kissed him goodbye. Jon noticed, because it was Jon and he noticed those kinds of things, but he just laughed and kissed her for a little longer than he normally would in public.


	11. Chapter 11

As much as Georgie loved travelling — and yes, she only travelled around England and maybe to Wales, and yes, it was mostly backpacking — she knew Jon wasn’t likely to go with her, and by the time summer rolled around and they’d finished their second year, she kind of also wanted to stay home with him, at least more than she had the year before.

Jon laughed when she said that. “Well, I’m glad, I’d miss you.” He smiled. “But if you want to go then go, I don’t mind. I get more work done without you.”   
She leaned over the table to kiss him, missing his lips slightly, and laughed. “Of course you do.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I’ll still  _ go _ , of course I will, just probably not as much as I did last year.”   
“Sounds good.”   
“Also, mum asks if you’d want to come when I go visit them.” She smiled. “Yes, Anna will be there. She just finished uni, she lives there.”

“Oh no.” Jon’s flat delivery made it impossible to tell if he was joking. “I might not mind a few days. I was planning to go to London for a bit again, but other than that I don’t have plans.”   
“What do you do in London?”

“Job searching.” He was lying; it was Jon, he was a good enough liar, but she could see right through him, always had.

She decided to let him; if he lied, he had a good reason. “Fun. Found anything?”   
“Not yet.” He smiled.

“Hmm. I might go with you, if you don’t mind? Just the London trip, I wanna go anyway, and I can’t afford a hotel.” She’d added the last bit because he’d visibly stiffened.

He relaxed, just a fraction. “I stay at a friend’s place, but I suppose I can ask if you can come too.” A smile, the one he used to cover up. “We’ll see.”   
“You don’t have to.” She wanted to ask, she really did, but it was Jon; he didn’t keep secrets to hurt her. “Who’s the friend?” It wasn’t calling him out on lying, she decided, and she wouldn’t pry.

“Just uhh, someone I met last year when I was there.” He looked back down to his book.

She looked at him for a few seconds. “We’ll see,” she said. She wondered what he was lying about. “I don’t know when I’ll want to go.”

Jon hummed in reply. “I’ll ask just in case.”

“Thanks.” Georgie got up and put her plate in the sink, looking at him for a few seconds. “I love you.”   
He looked up. “I love you too.” He kept looking at her. “What’s wrong?”   
“You know you’re allowed to say you just don’t wanna tell me?”   
“What do you mean?”   
Georgie sighed and walked over to kiss him on the top of his head, making use of him sitting down. “You’re not job searching in London. You don’t wanna tell me, that’s fine, but you don’t need to lie about it.”   
“Sorry.” He craned his neck to look at her. “I know. I prefer not to talk about it.”   
“That’s alright.” She kissed him. “Can I get you to do dishes? I promised Rowan I’d look over her markup work.”   
“Of course.” He smiled. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks.” She went back to her room.

She felt bad about lying to him, but she just needed a moment alone, and she knew Jon was gonna get worried if she said so. There was just something about the casual way he lied to her that annoyed her.

Georgie spent three days backpacking and hitchhiking south. She didn't have a specific destination in mind, but ended up spending a day in Bournemouth. She made sure to pay attention to the town; it was where Jon had grown up, but she doubted he'd ever take her there.

She got back late one evening, expecting Jon to have already gone to bed; instead, he was sitting on the floor in the living room, leaning against the wall, reading. "Hi Jon!" No response; he was reading. She went and knelt in front of him. "Jon?"

He shifted his book to one hand and opened his arms, gesturing for her to come closer, still not taking his eyes off the page.

Deciding that it was better than being ignored, Georgie sat down between his legs, back leaned against his chest. He folded his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder, still reading. "How long have you been sitting here?" she asked.

He hummed, but didn't say anything.

"I'm a bit tired, so I'll probably head to bed soon." She skimmed what he was reading; some kind of science book, near as she figured. "I've been to Bournemouth."

"That's nice." Distracted, sure, but words. Georgie considered it a victory.

"It's a nice city. The water's nice."

Another noncommittal hum as reply, but he turned his head just enough to kiss her cheek.

Georgie gave up talking and just leaned back in Jon's arms, dosing off slightly. It was Jon; he wasn't ignoring her, he just didn't know how to stop. He'd be around when the book was done, until then, she'd dose off where she was.

She woke up by Jon kissing her cheek again. "Sorry," he mumbled, face mostly pressed against hers. "Got caught up."

"That's alright." She turned to catch his lips. "When was the last time you had anything to eat?"

"Don't know." He smiled, very softly, and Georgie had the urge to kiss him again.

She didn't. "You need food, Jon."

"I know." He was still looking at her, smiling. "I've missed you."

She laughed. "I missed you too, now let me go so I can make you some food." She kissed him very quickly. "Whatever would you do without me?"

"I don't know." He let her go, but made no move to get up. "Just go to bed, I'll eat something and come join you."

"I need a shower too." She held out a hand to pull him up from the floor. "I shower while you eat?"

"Sounds good." He let her hand go. "I love you."

"Love you too." She smiled and went to shower.

When she got back to her room, Jon was already in her bed. "I was tired," he mumbled.

"Yeah, me too." She laid down next to him. "It's nice to be back in a real bed."

"I can imagine." Jon pulled her close, to her surprise. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She kissed his neck, the only place she could reach just then. "I thought you wanted to sleep."

"I do." He didn't let go. "You sleep better like this."

"I really don't, I just enjoy it." She laughed slightly. "Jon, are you drunk?"

"Not much."

Now that she'd thought it, she did smell alcohol on his breath; she wondered how she hadn't noticed before. "Well, if you say so." She laughed. "Goodnight Jon."

"Goodnight Georgie."


	12. Chapter 12

Unsurprisingly, she woke up to Jon having moved away from her. He was still asleep when she woke, turned away from her; she watched him for a few moments, curled up in a ball, long hair a mess. She reached out and began gently detangling it.

He woke up. “Georgie?”

“Good morning Jon.” She didn’t stop messing with his hair. “How did you sleep?”   
“Fine.” He didn’t turn. “What are you doing with my hair?”   
“Just detangling it. How does your hair get tangled so quickly? You brushed it before we went to bed last night.”   
“It just does.” There was a bit of a laugh in Jon’s voice. “I don’t know, it always has. I’ve considered cutting it short.” He reached behind him and caught her hand. “What do you think?”   
“I don’t care.” She laughed and laced their fingers together.

Jon turned to look at her. “You can still have an opinion.”   
“I don’t.” She kissed him. “How are you feeling?”   
“Fine.”

“Good.” She considered how much of a jerk she was gonna be and settled on as little as possible, mostly because she was genuinely concerned more than teasing. “Jon, how much did you drink last night? And  _ when _ ?”   
He sighed. “Not much. Three, maybe four glasses. Just wine. My grandmother called.”   
“So you got drunk?”

“Well, no, I had decided on a glass of wine over dinner because I knew you’d be coming back and I figured we could share a glass, celebrate, that sort of thing. Then she called, and well, the bottle was open. I just decided to sit and read, but it was within reach, and you know… I didn’t think too much about it.”

“Yeah, alright then.” She opened her arms, and Jon moved closer to her, leaning in. 

“I love you.”   
“I love you too.” She kissed his cheek. “Be careful. Next time.”

“I hope there won’t be a next time.” He pulled away. “I’ll make us breakfast.”   
“Alright.” She let him go, and looked after him as he left.

Jon's two days in London coincided with Georgie being home, which annoyed her more than she cared to admit; she didn't spend a lot of time home during the summer, and she was hoping to see Jon, but he left. Didn't even tell her until the morning.

Her annoyance cooled somewhat when he called her that evening, from a payphone of all places, and stayed on the call for almost an hour. She could imagine him, leaning against the wall of the phone booth, feeding pound coins into the machine every time their time was almost up, smiling to himself. Her annoyance with him disappeared entirely when he came home and immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Someone's missed me," she teased, hugging him back even tighter.

"Of course." He pulled back. "I'll make lunch, I'm starving."

"No you won't." Georgie took his hand. "I already did."

"Ah." He followed her to the kitchen and grabbed an extra plate and cutlery for himself, then sat down.

Georgie put the pot on the table and sat across from him. "So my mum called today, she wants me to come home next week, and she said to invite you."

"Sounds good."

"So you wanna come?"

"For a few days, at least. How long do you plan on staying?"

"I don't know, a week?" It was Jon; familiar, lovely, solid, Jon. Why did he suddenly feel like a stranger? "Would you want to come for the entire time?"

He smiled at her, but his eyes didn't focus, at least not on her. "Sure." He looked back down to his food. "Sounds lovely."

"I didn't think you'd call it  _ lovely  _ after Christmas. Anna will be there."

"That's fine." He still didn't look — or sound — entirely present.

"Jon." He looked up, focusing on her for the first time. "Jon, did you hear anything I just said?"

"Yes, of course. Anna was a problem at Christmas because I was in love with you and couldn't admit that. Now it's fine."

It was Jon. She didn't have to. " _ Was  _ in love with me?"

"Was and am." He smiled and reached for her hand. "What's up?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. "You seem a little distant today, is all."

"Just tired from the trip, I think. Haven't slept much these past two nights." He finally looked like himself. "I'll be fine after a good night's rest."

"If you say so." She tried to soften her voice, but she could hear the accusation in it.

Jon didn't seem to notice, or he chose to ignore it. "I do." He squeezed her hand. "I love you."

"I love you too." She shook her head slightly. "Maybe you should take a nap? I need to shower, and I have some markup work I ought to look at."

"Alright." Jon got up. "I suppose you're right. Not to mention, it's been a while since I've slept in my own bed." He went and kissed her head. "Will you wake me in a few hours?"

"Of course." She turned her head to catch a proper kiss. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He chuckled slightly and went to his room.

Georgie hated when he got like this, shuttered and lying to her, but she'd let him. She just hoped it really was because he was tired.


	13. Chapter 13

She fell asleep on Jon on the train again, but this time, when she briefly woke up, he hadn't moved. She tried to remember if he'd fallen asleep before her, and decided that he had; largely because she didn't want to think about him not moving her to rest more comfortably.

She'd forgotten how different they'd been over Christmas, until Jon turned away from her kissing him. She was about to get mad, but then Anna cut in.

"You've been dating for what, at least six months, and you still don't kiss?"

"We kiss, just not in front of people," Georgie replied. "Jon is a private person."

"Sure, and he never lets you go." Anna rolled her eyes. "Private my ass. I don't even think you're really dating."

"It's been…" Georgie looked at Jon. "How long have we been together?"

"Ten months." It was a lie, and they both knew it; Georgie was aware that Jon's slight smile wouldn't be obvious to anyone but her. "Give or take."

"And you've never kissed in front of people?"

Jon sighed deeply, but Georgie could tell he was amused more than annoyed. "Not once."

"Not true." Georgie decided to have a little fun. "There was the time you forgot that Madeline was still over when you went to bed."

"That's true." Jon wrapped both arms around Georgie from behind. "And, I suppose, the time Anna made you kiss my cheek Christmas morning." He rested his chin on Georgie's head.

Anna shook her head. "I still don't believe it."

Georgie shrugged. "You don't have to." She freed herself from Jon. "Jon, I promised mum I'd go shopping with her, do you prefer to come or be left here?"

"I think I might take a walk by myself, then. Any bookshops around?"

"I can take you." Anna looked delighted at the prospect. "I need a few books anyway, so it'll work out well."

"I don't know, I prefer to go book shopping alone." Georgie could imagine Jon's cold smile, even though she wasn't looking at him, and almost laughed; Jon and Anna were perfect opposites, and she was having a lot of fun watching them. "I usually don't even let Georgie come with me."

"It's true." Georgie took his hand for a moment. "Anyway, I'll be going. Good luck."

"Thanks, love." He sent her a smile.

Georgie left Jon alone with Anna — wondering how that would go — and went to find her mum.

"You and Jon seem happy," she said in the car.

"We are." Georgie smiled. "Yeah, we are."

"You don't sound convinced."

"It's just the summer getting to me. We don't see each other as much as we're used to. We'll be fine."

"Have you thought about what to do after your degree?"

"I don't know. I suppose it depends a bit on Jon, too, where he wants to go. I'm guessing he wants to go to London."

"Don't move for a boy."

"I know, mum." Georgie laughed. "He's not just some boy, though, he's been my best friend for a year and a half and we've been dating for quite a while. You moved for dad."

"I know." Her mum stopped the car. "Just be careful. He seems sad, which is never a good sign. It means he's leaving you, either for someone else or for hell."

Georgie almost laughed. "Jon isn't  _ suicidal _ ," she said. "He's always been like that, he's just a quiet guy."

"Does he ever talk about the future?"

"I don't either." Georgie got out of the car. "Come on, we're going shopping."

"Of course."

Her mum didn't bring it up again, but the thought didn't leave Georgie, even as she walked through shops with her mum, and even in the car home.

Jon was sitting outside when they pulled up. He smiled when he saw Georgie.

"Got too much of Anna?" she asked, walking up to him.

"You could say." He laughed. "Will you stay out here with me for a moment?"

"Sure." She sat next to him on the stoop. "What's up?" she asked once her mum was inside.

"It seems I've taken up a bad habit." He handed her a pack of cigarettes.

"Thought I've smelled smoke on you lately." She handed them back. "You know I don't care, right?"

"I know." Jon took out a lighter and lit up another cigarette. "But I still wanted to tell you, it felt weird to hide it."

"Is that why you've been weird lately?"

"No, I've just been stressed." He looked at her; the cigarette in his hand looked out of place, but she supposed it was because she wasn't used to seeing it. "I love you."

"I love you too." She leaned her head against his shoulder, and he shifted the cigarette to his other hand, holding it away from her. "If there's something you wanna talk about…"

"I'd rather not." He kissed her hair. "It's nice to have some rest."

"That's true."

They sat together on the stoop in silence until Jon finished his cigarette, and then went back inside. Georgie felt better about them than she had in a while; she could almost convince herself that that was what Jon had kept from her the past few weeks.


	14. Chapter 14

Georgie knew what Anna looked like when she had a crush, and for the first two days after she noticed, she found it entertaining. Then she noticed the way Anna would hang on every word Jon said, and actually got jealous.

She pulled Jon close when they'd gone to bed that night, hiding her face in the nape of his neck. "You okay?" he asked, arms wrapping around her.

"Yeah, I've just missed this. Anna monopolises your attention most days."

Jon chuckled. "Yes, I've noticed. Shame, really." His voice dropped to a murmur. "Though it's always fun to hear childhood stories about you."

She laughed; it was Jon, of course he'd make her feel better. "She talks about me?"

"Sure, when I ask." He kissed her hair. "She doesn't seem to enjoy it, though."

"She has a crush on you."

That made Jon laugh, a proper laugh, not just a ghost; she could feel his chest vibrate with it. "That explains your jealousy." He pulled away enough to kiss her. "Sorry. But it does make sense, I suppose, even if it's ridiculous."

"Why is it ridiculous?"

"I'm your boyfriend. All I do when hanging out with her is ask about you or talk about you. I love you. I don't know why she keeps trying to talk to me."

Georgie smiled; it was Jon, wonderful, solid Jon, who was never afraid to say that he loved her. "I still don't think Anna believes we're together."

"Her loss." Jon kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled. "Goodnight Jon."

"Goodnight love." Georgie began freeing herself, but Jon tightened his arms around her. "I'm not tired yet, you can fall asleep like this."

"Thanks." She rested into his embrace and fell asleep a lot quicker than usual.

The next couple of days with her family was better, even if Anna's crush didn't subside any. Mostly because Georgie had the joy of watching Jon blow her off while pretending not to notice, not to mention that he talked almost only about her.

"I think Anna was pretty annoyed with you by the end," she said once they were on the train home.

"I'm sure." He laughed. "But I think she actually believes that I'm in love with you, now."

"Doesn't make a difference as long as she doesn't think I'm in love with you."

"Why doesn't she?"

"When we were teens, every time I had a crush, it would always be, well, I'd always be so obvious about it. Doodling names in my notebooks, that sort of thing. I never did that with you." She leaned her head against his shoulder, lightly enough that she could hold her own weight when he inevitably shifted her to his chest moments later.

"Hmm." He kissed the top of her head. "Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why aren't you like that with me?"

She laughed. "Feeling insecure, Jon?" It was a tease, and she leaned up to kiss him before moving on. "I don't know. Because you were already my best friend. Because I didn't even realise that I was in love with you until… Well, until Christmas, really."

"Really?" He sounded genuinely surprised. "You were a lot quicker than me at saying anything."

"Not that it takes much." She laughed. “What, six months?”   
“Yes, I know.” He kissed her. “I did say something, though. Eventually.”   
“Because I asked, Jon.” She leaned back against his chest. “I’m gonna take a nap, wake me when we’re home.”   
“I’ll wake you when we have to change trains.”   
“That’s fine.”

She slept the rest of the way, calmly leaned against Jon who, she suspected, did not sleep, but he did run his hands through her hair from time to time when she was half awake, which made her focus on pretending to be asleep because she knew he wouldn’t do it if she was awake.

The rest of the summer — nearly a month — was less eventful. Georgie did take one more trip, five days all told, but Jon stayed home. She felt a little uneasy with how nice it was to be away from him, but she came home and felt oddly relieved when he hugged her, so she dismissed it as just being excited about the trip.

School started up again, and Georgie was reminded of how much she actually hated her major. Not in a bad way, she enjoyed the classes, but she didn’t see herself doing anything with it, and it felt a little bit like a waste of time.

She brought it up with Jon one evening over dinner. “What do you plan to do later?”   
“What?”   
“When you’re done with uni, what’s the plan? What do you wanna work as?”   
“I don’t know.” He shrugged vaguely. “I’ve been looking at a few things. I’d like to go to London, there’s more research jobs available there, and I think I’d like to do research of some kind, but…”   
“Should’ve taken a psychology degree, then.” Georgie grinned. “But I guess.”   
“What would you like to do?”   
“I don’t know. Honestly, I’d love to go into media production or something like that, but we’ll see. I just don’t know yet.” She put her head down on the table, and felt Jon’s hand gently detangling her hair moments later.

“You have a whole year. Two if you choose to do a Master’s.” His voice was soft, hands still ghosting lightly through her hair.

“Are you going to?” She didn’t look up, but she was sure Jon heard her.

“I don’t think so.”

“Would you stay here if I did?”   
“Probably not.” Jon’s voice was soft, loving, matter-of-fact. "I already want to move, but I should finish my degree first."

Georgie lifted her head, forcing Jon to drop his hands, narrowly missing her glass. "You're leaving?"

"Eventually." It was Jon; she'd always been able to see straight through him, but she had no idea what his quietly concerned face meant in this situation.

"I mean… Not town, I mean me."

"Oh." The concern became more apparent. "No, Georgie, that's not what I meant, I— I love you."

"I love you too." She kept her voice as level as she could.

"I didn't mean breaking up, just… I like living with you, but it's not exactly necessary. It's nice, I— I like having you around. But I also don't like living here, so if getting away means only seeing you on the weekends, well… Maybe that's okay." He reached out to take her hand. "It's a ways off anyway. No decisions have been made yet."

"Sure." She clutched his hand a little tighter. "I guess."

He smiled. "I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you too." She couldn't help but smile back. "I'll do the dishes, you have work to do."

"So do you?"

"Not as much." Georgie stood up and leaned over the table to kiss Jon. "Go do your work."

"Thanks love." He stood as well, giving her a quick hug before retreating to his room.

"You're welcome."

Georgie did the dishes, silently putting her anxieties about Jon into scrubbing their plates. She was happy she wasn't scared, and she actually felt pretty certain that he still loved her and that that had nothing to do with it, but she wished he wasn't so nonchalant about their relationship.

When she was done, she went to his room, not saying anything, just giving him a quick hug and a kiss and then laid down on his bed, silently watching him work and occasionally smoking through the window, until he went to bed.


	15. Chapter 15

Georgie didn’t mind routine, not at all, but she hated the way it made Jon seem less concerned with hanging out with her. She barely saw him over the next few weeks, and no amount of sleeping in the same bed and quick kisses over morning coffee could change that she felt like he was out all the time.

“Jon?” It was late one night, and if he was asleep, that was fine.

He wasn’t. “What’s up?” He turned to face her.

“I just feel like I haven’t seen you much lately.” She held out her arms, and he pulled her close. “I miss you,” she said, voice muffled by his shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Jon held her tighter for a moment. “I’ve just been busy, and I try to make other friends. I forget how time-consuming having friends is.” He ghosted a laugh at that, and it was nice to hear; it had been a while since she’d heard him laugh, she realised.

“It is.” She laughed with him. “It’s not bad, I just barely see you. I mean, when was the last time we actually sat down for a meal together?”   
“I… I don’t know. Last week?” There was real regret in his voice. “Dinner tomorrow? We can even go out if you like.”

Georgie smiled, even if Jon couldn’t see it. “Yeah, I think I would like that. How many going-out dates have we been on?”   
Jon thought about it for too long. “Three,” he said eventually. “Your 21st birthday, that time Madeline made us go watch a movie with her and we went for dinner afterwards, and the day after exams last year.”   
“That’s really not very many, we’ve been dating for nearly ten months.”

“I know.” Jon kissed her hair. “One more tomorrow. I promise.”   
“Thanks.” Georgie pulled back enough to kiss him. “I love you.”   
“I love you too.” He smiled and kissed her again, then pulled away. “Goodnight Georgie.”

“Goodnight Jon.”

The next day was a school day, so it was the same morning rush, just Jon kissing her goodbye with a quick, “I’ll see you tonight,” before rushing out to class. At least, Georgie reflected, he hadn’t forgotten.

He called her in the late afternoon. “Hi Jon.” She had a bad feeling about it.

“Hi love, I’m so sorry, I’m gonna be held up until around eight. Are you okay to just meet me at a restaurant then? Or we can go out tomorrow, but I know this was important to you.”

Georgie felt anger, and choked it down. “What’s holding you up?”

“Joshua needed some…  _ Extra guidance _ on our project.”   
“Isn’t Joshua the guy you used to date back in second year? Are you seriously doing this?”   
“Yes, it’s that guy, and no, when I say  _ extra guidance _ I mean I need to spend an hour yelling at him and then redoing his work. Some people really can pay their way into university, it seems.” His voice was annoyed. “I’m sorry,” he said, voice softer. “I know, I can do the work later, I’ll be an hour, max. See you at home?”   
“See you.” Georgie hung up; she half-heard Jon’s  _ I love you _ , but by then, the button was already pressed.

Jon did come home an hour later and pulled her into a hug as soon as he saw her. “I really am sorry.”   
“I know you are.” She hugged him back for a moment, then freed herself. “I know, I just— Jon, you know this means something to me, you  _ know _ that. And Joshua is a dick who doesn’t deserve your help.”

“I know.” Jon looked genuinely sorry, and it did make Georgie soften up a little. “I know, but it’s just because we keep getting put in project groups together, and I really don’t want to fail and have to repeat a year.” He held out a hand. “I love you, and I called and changed the reservation to 7pm so I’d have time to shower and change before we go.”

“Okay.” She took his hand. “I love you too.”   
It wasn’t until Jon was in the shower and Georgie was picking out a dress that she realised that he’d apologised, but never actually addressed the problem. She ignored this realisation, and got dressed.

Jon didn’t mention Joshua or school or any of that stuff while they were out, but he did pay for both of them — not that it mattered much, since they pretty much shared expenses, but it was a nice gesture — and laughed and listened to her talk about movies she liked, and Georgie could convince herself that Jon had made a mistake, not been a dick.


	16. Chapter 16

The return to routine was less jarring than Georgie expected; more casually sleeping next to each other without saying anything, more kisses that felt more like habit that love, more  _ I love yous _ in the same tone of voice as  _ see you laters _ , and with it all, Jon, in whose arms she still felt more loved than anywhere else, who still smiled softly at her when he kissed her good morning, the soft smile she’d fallen in love with nearly a year prior.

As Christmas got closer, it was decided that Jon was going with Georgie home again. Or it wasn’t decided as much as just assumed, but it was assumed by both of them, so Georgie considered it planned. She’d been looking at the price for two train tickets, and Jon had made some off-hand joke about probably knowing Anna well enough to buy her something for Christmas; “if nothing else because then she’ll feel guilty about not getting me anything,” and they ended up on the train together without ever actually talking about where Jon was spending Christmas. Georgie loved it; loved the casual way they’d just  _ known _ , loved that Jon never even questioned it or tried to say he’d be fine alone, loved how he didn’t even bother waiting until she was asleep on the train to move her over to a more comfortable position.

Her mum picked them up at the train station again, hugging first Georgie and then Jon, who stiffened, but hugged her back. He held Georgie’s hand in the car, incessantly running his thumb over the back of her hand. It was Jon; it was equal parts annoying, endearing, and concerning.

He pulled her into a tight hug once they were alone in her room. “You alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, just tired.” He rested his cheek on the top of her head, still not letting her go. “Just tired.”   
“Jon, you know you can’t lie to me.”   
“I know, I know.” There was a bit of a laugh to his voice. “Would you believe me if I said I don’t know?”   
“Yes.”   
“Good. I don’t know.” He held her tighter. “I do think I’m just tired, but I don’t know.” He let go and laid down on her bed, holding out his arms. “At least the tired can be dealt with.”

Georgie chuckled and laid down next to him. “I guess it can.”

Jon pulled her over so he was laying on his back with her on top of him, planting a small kiss on the nape of her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The maneuver was unexpected, but laying on top of Jon was by no means uncomfortable, so Georgie stayed there, silently savouring the way he held her, until Anna came up to fetch them for dinner.

Anna's little crush on Jon had resurfaced, or perhaps never subsided, and Georgie hated it, hated the way Anna hung on to Jon's every word, how she never seemed to stop looking at him, always managing to place herself next to him. What she didn't hate was the way Jon held her hand, or had one arm casually around her, whenever they were sitting together, the way he lingered momentarily under the mistletoe whenever they walked by, mostly sneaking kisses to the top of her head, but sometimes her forehead or cheeks and once, when they were apparently alone — though Georgie suspected that both of them saw Anna through the window — on the lips.

Jon seemed to find the whole thing amusing, the way Anna would "just so happen" to be headed out when Jon was out smoking so that she could stop and speak with him, the way she seemed to throw daggers with her eyes at Georgie. None of that helped Georgie's own jealousy, of course.

"She'll get over it," Jon said, when Georgie brought it up when they'd gone to bed on Christmas Eve. "And if she doesn't, well, her loss, really."

"Why do you indulge her?"

"Jealous?" Jon laughed and kissed her. "No, I don't know, just politeness, I suppose. She's your sister, don't wanna give her a reason to hate me."

"Fine." Georgie kissed him again, a little harder, and felt the way his lips twisted into a smile. "Fine."

Jon was almost grinning. "I love you."

"I love you too." She pulled him close. "I'm still excited to go home."

"Aren't we always?" Jon laughed softly and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Georgie."

"Goodnight Jon."

She laid awake for too long, but Jon's quiet, steady breathing eventually lulled her to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

The spring semester was… It was their spring semester of their last year, there was no other way to put it, Georgie figured. She was busy and so was Jon and, well, it was Jon; he got stressed and withdrew. She started sleeping in his room instead of her own, just because he'd often stay up late, studying and smoking, and Georgie didn't mind the noise, and her secret hope to guilt Jon into sleeping more seemed to work, or at least, he didn't seem as tired as he sometimes did.

A reading week came around, and neither of them had projects that required them to leave their shared flat.

"Jon?" It was Monday morning, and they'd both gotten up early, despite the lack of classes.

"Hmm?"

"Can we go out one of these days? I know there's a lot of work, but we both need a break."

"Yeah… Yeah, I suppose you're right." Jon smiled softly. "Tonight?"

"Sounds good!" Georgie hated that she was surprised at his willingness, but ignored it in favour of excitement. "I'm gonna go call a restaurant!"

"Alright." Jon caught her hand when she walked past him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Her smile was interrupted by Jon kissing her, but she was alright with that.

She didn't see him much more that day, shut up in his room, just coming out for coffee — Georgie, for her part, preferred to study in their living room — but whenever he did come out, he smiled at her.

They went out that evening; Georgie had reserved a table at the same restaurant they'd been to for her birthday, but there'd been some kind of double booking, so they were turned away. "What now?" Georgie asked, shivering slightly in the cold night air.

"Don't know." Jon absentmindedly shrugged his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. "You should've brought a coat."

"I would have if I knew we'd be standing in the street," Georgie retorted, but she gratefully pulled the jacket on properly. "I guess we can try to find somewhere else."

"Come on." Jon's eyes lit up slightly, and he took her hand and pulled her along.

"Slow down, Jon, I'm in heels."

"Sorry." He slowed. "Why are you in heels again?"

"So I can do this." She pulled him in for a kiss, without having to get on her tiptoes. "It's quite nice."

"I agree." Jon had slid one arm around her waist. "Come on." He began walking again, slower, still with his arm around her waist.

"Where are we going?" Georgie slipped her own arm around Jon's waist; she could feel the heat off him even through his shirt and jacket.

"Somewhere new." Jon had a gleam in his eyes that Georgie knew, the same kind he got when he got absorbed in a book, or when she'd come home after being gone for a while. It was Jon; he was most likely just taking her to a restaurant he'd read about, but she loved his excitement.

Jon stopped in front of a small bar. "Tina took me here a while back, when we'd finished our project. I've been wanting to take you here for forever, but something kept coming up, and then today you wanted to go to the restaurant and—"

"Jon." Georgie kissed him. "I love you."

"Oh." He smiled, looking genuinely surprised. "I love you too."

"What is this place?"

"Mostly a bar, but they have pub foods. And karaoke."

"Karaoke?"

"Yes." Jon grinned. "Come on, you've heard me sing."

"Sure, in our living room." She laughed, following him inside. "I didn't think you'd be a stage guy."

"Guess I can still surprise you." Jon led her to a small round table with two chairs. "Let's start with some food, I guess."

"Sounds good." Georgie grabbed the menu and started looking it over.

They ate cheap pub food, but it was pretty good, and had a few drinks, quietly chatting and laughing. Georgie couldn't remember the last time Jon had been that relaxed, and she wasn't sure if it was because he'd decided to be, or something had happened.

"So," she said when the karaoke started up. "You promised to surprise me."

"I did, didn't I?" Jon smiled and sighed, and got up. "Let's go." He kissed her and walked up to the woman who ran the karaoke, exchanged a few words, and was handed a microphone.

Georgie had heard Jon sing before; he sang around the flat sometimes, while cooking or doing dishes or just sitting around, would hum along with the radio sometimes, but she'd never seen him  _ perform _ . He was confidently walking around, singing some generic rock song she didn't recognise, outright flirting with her at times, but mostly just singing. It was Jon; she'd never actively found him attractive as such, just because she'd always known it wouldn't matter, but like this, she remembered Madeline calling him  _ kind of hot, in a way _ and found herself agreeing.

He finished his song and handed the microphone back, then walked over. "So? Did I surprise you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Um, yeah." Georgie nodded. "Yeah, you did. Do you only do that when you're drunk?"

"What, sing? No."

"Dance."

"Oh." Jon laughed and took a sip of the beer he'd left. "Yes."

"Shame. Wouldn't mind that in my living room sometimes."

"Hmm." Jon smiled. "Just because it's you."

"I love you." Georgie smiled back.

"I love you too." Jon finished his drink. "Do you wanna stay out, or go home?"

"I'm fine to go home if you want."

"I need to do some work tomorrow, so yeah."

"Let's go then." Georgie downed her own drink and stood.

Jon gave her his jacket again as they walked back, taking his cigarettes from the pocket and lighting one as they walked.

They went to bed in Jon's bed pretty much as soon as they got home, but Jon would usually hold her when he was sleeping drunk, so Georgie considered it the best night in a while.


	18. Chapter 18

Easter was usually the time Georgie took to take stock of her life and figure out where the next academic year was taking her, and that year was no different. She'd applied for a Master's some months before, just for good measure, but she hadn't made any solid plans until then. She hadn't even told Jon she'd applied; not to keep secrets, but she didn't want to get up in arms about it.

So Easter Sunday rolled around, she and Jon were home alone, taking the time for a nice lunch together. "Hey Jon?"

"What's up?"

"So, um, I applied for a Master's… Back in January, just as a backup plan, I didn't know if I wanted to do it, but I got a conditional offer, for a 2.1, and I've got mostly 2.1s and a few 1sts, I should be able to make it, and… I really want to take it."

"That's good." Jon smiled, warm and genuine. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." She smiled back; he'd been so distracted lately, she'd almost expected him to just say  _ that's nice  _ and move on. "But um, it means I'm staying in Oxford for another year."

"Right." His smile dropped with a sigh. "Georgie… I know you're going to ask me to stay with you, but you know my answer. It won't change."

"But why?" She knew he wouldn't, but she'd hoped he'd be open to discuss it, at least.

"I have to go to London."

"What's in London that's so important?"

"I…" He sighed. "It's… Hard. To explain, I mean. I don't want to lie to you."

"So don't. Just tell me!"

"I don't—"

"What are you scared of?"

"That you'll hate me." His voice was small. "That you'll think I'm stupid and I've been lying to you." He wasn't looking at her.

"Jon…" She reached out to take his hand. "I couldn't hate you. Just… Tell me."

"Georgie…"

"Tell me something."

"I have… Loose ends. From before university. And it keeps coming around and I need to tie them up, and I need to do it soon. But it's gonna take a long time… Months, maybe more. So I need to move there. And the longer I put it off, the worse it gets, and I'm already dreading waiting until July, but I will, because I want to finish my education, and I want to stay with you, but I can't stay past that, I just can't. I'm… Stuck." He barely looked up.

"Right." Georgie knew he wasn't lying, but she still didn't like any of what he said. "Right, okay. Sure. So you're leaving, and I'm staying here, and then what?"

"What?"

"What about  _ us,  _ Jon?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, but looked a little more comfortable. "I'll get a slightly more expensive phone plan so I can keep calling. I'll come up to visit sometimes, come back with you for Christmas again maybe… That kind of thing. I guess that's what'll happen. If you want, next year, when you're done… We can move back in together."

"I can't afford a London flat, you know that."

"We're a little past needing separate bedrooms anyway, I'll find a place big enough for both of us immediately. It's fine."

"No, Jon, it's not."

"Well what do you want me to do?" It was the first time she'd seen real anger from him, she realised. "I have to go, and I'm telling you, you can come, or I'll visit as often as possible, but I can't stay. And if that's not good enough for you, Georgie, then maybe—"

"Maybe what, Jon?"

"Maybe we should break up when I leave. I love you, but if you can't imagine a relationship without literally living together, maybe this isn't gonna work."

"Maybe it isn't." Georgie stood up. "But maybe it would if you'd just fucking tell me what you're doing instead of vaguely talking around the subject."

"Fine!" Jon snapped and stood up as well. "Fine." He walked off without saying another word.

Georgie heard the front door close moments later.

He was back the next morning, sitting at their dining table, drinking coffee. He didn't look up when she came out. "Morning," she said.

"Good morning."

"Jon, about yesterday… I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." He still didn't look up. "And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have lost my temper."

"No, you shouldn't." Georgie checked the kettle; still hot. "When did you get back?"

"Ten minutes ago."

"Where did you spend the night then?" She poured herself some coffee and sat down. "Tina's?"

"Just on the street. I haven't slept."

"Jon…"

"I'm fine." He downed his coffee. "Just tired."

"Right." He still wasn't looking at her. "Jon?"

"What's up?" He glanced up, but back to his coffee quickly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." A smile this time, and a few seconds of eye contact. "I'm gonna take a nap, will you wake me for lunch?"

"Of course." She remained seated and watched him leave.

They were okay, Georgie thought. It was Jon, he'd come around when he'd slept, and she'd apologise again. Maybe he was right.

_ Don't move for a boy.  _ Her mother's voice echoed in her head, and Georgie realised it went both ways; Jon shouldn't move — or stay — for her. No matter how much she wanted him to.

She woke him up just before she had lunch, and they ate together. Jon didn't say much, but she knew him like this; he was tired and distant, but it didn't mean much when he still smiled when meeting her eyes.

"Jon, I wanted to say sorry about last night, I… I shouldn't have gotten worked up over it. You're right, we can make things work even at a distance, it'll be fine."

Jon smiled. "Yes, you're right." He didn't keep the smile, but she figured he was tired, that had to be all. It had to. "Quite right."


	19. Chapter 19

The next week was one of uneasy tension, of the kind of kisses Georgie hated, the habitual ones that didn't feel like they meant anything, of half a foot of space between them in Jon's bed — as always, but it felt like more at that moment — and of conversations that didn't stray out of the ordinary.

It took eight days for Georgie to get too tense for it. "Jon?" They were eating dinner together, barely talking, but together.

He hummed in response.

"I was thinking, your birthday is coming up, do you wanna do anything?"

"No, that's alright." He smiled quickly. "I don't need to."

"I know, but it's a good excuse to do something together. Go out, something. I… Jon, I miss you."

"You see me all the time."

"I know, I know, but… It's not the same. Even if we stay home, a day where we actually pay attention to each other. Please, Jon." She tried to look imploring.

"I… Yes, of course." He leaned over the table to kiss her, and it felt real. "Of course. I think dinner at home, but we can go back to that karaoke bar, if you'd like. In the evening, just for drinks."

"It's what you want, Jon. My birthday is the week after, I can make you do stuff with me then." She smiled.

"Great. Then we're having dinner at home and going out afterwards." Jon smiled at her. "I do love you."

"I love you too." Georgie kissed him. "Can you do dishes? I promised Rowan to help with some stuff."

"Of course. When will you be back?"

"I don't know, a couple of hours?"

"I'll wait up."

"Thanks Jon." One more kiss, and Georgie was out the door, smiling more than she had since their fight.

When she came back, Jon had set the table for pudding, cake from the bakery down the street and a bottle of wine, and was waiting for her. "Hey," he said softly when she came in.

"Hey." She went to kiss him. "You said you'd wait up, I didn't expect this."

"You were the one who said you'd missed me." He smiled and took her hand. "It's not that late, sit, have some wine. It'll do."

"It will." She kissed him again, just because she didn't really know what to say. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They didn't talk much after that, eating cake and drinking wine, but they smiled and laughed and it was Jon; Jon whom she loved, Jon who did wrong but always tried to make it up to her, Jon who loved her back.

Georgie got up early on Jon's birthday to make him breakfast; not in bed, this time, but it was on the table when he came out, bleary-eyed and sleepy. "Good morning love." He pulled her into a hug.

"Morning." She kissed him. "And happy birthday."

"Thanks." He glanced over at the table, eyes lighting up slightly. "You made breakfast!"

"And coffee, don't worry." She smiled.

He smiled back. "Thank you, Georgie." He squeezed her for a moment before letting go. "I love you."

"Love you too."

Georgie cooked dinner that evening, insistently making Jon just sit. “It’s your birthday, you don’t have to do anything,” she insisted.

“Alright.” He sat down. “But let me know if you need me to do anything.”   
“Of course.”   
They ate together, Jon giving her his full attention for the first time in… Georgie couldn’t have said how long, but too long. She liked it.

He held her hand when they walked to the karaoke bar he’d taken her to once before, and paid for both their drinks, even though Georgie argued. “Let me do this one thing for you,” he insisted, kissing her quickly.

“Fine then.” She smiled and went to the table. “I hope you know I’m making you sing for me again.”   
“Of course.” Jon grinned back. “Might wanna let me have a few of these if you wanna see me dance.” He gestured to his drink.

“Oh absolutely.”   
“And I am, of course, making you sing too, today.”   
“Jon…”   
“You can sing, you have a lovely voice.” He was still smiling, the kind of smile that told her that he was planning something. “I know you can.”   
“Flattery isn’t gonna change anything, Jon, as nice as it is.”   
“Aww.” His smile became more teasing. “Just a little song.”   
“Maybe.” She gestured to her drink. I don’t need alcohol to dance, and you don’t need it to sing. We’ll both be okay.”   
“I’ve got a tenner put aside for the taxi home.”

“Oh thank God.” Georgie laughed. “I was worried we’d have to walk with both of us drunk.”   
“Not at all.” Jon leaned over and kissed her. “We really should go out more often. Not for dinner necessarily, but like this.”   
It honestly surprised her to hear him say it. “Yeah, absolutely. I mean, when you move we probably will, just to do something special when we do manage to see each other.”   
“That’s true.” His smile dropped for just a second. “Yeah, sure.”   
“You don’t think so?”   
“I figure, when I don’t get to see you as often I’d rather want to be home,” he lied; of course he lied, Georgie could see straight through him. “But if you want to go out we can.”   
She decided not to call him out; not just then, it was his birthday, she just wanted a nice evening together. “Oh yeah, we can stay home too. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”  _ Or burn it, _ she thought, but pushed it away.

“We will.” Jon tapped the table. “I’m gonna get another drink, what do you want?”   
“Haven’t finished this one yet.” She smiled slightly.

“Okay.” There was something sad in his eyes, something sad that hadn’t left them for a while. Unbidden, her mother’s words returned to her.  _ He seems sad, which is never a good sign. It means he's leaving you, either for someone else or for hell.  _ She hoped it was someone else, she decided, if it was true.

Jon came back to the table with a drink and still with that sadness in his eyes that she couldn’t unsee. He smiled. “Karaoke is starting up in a bit,” he said. “How about a duet to start?”   
“Not drunk enough.” She smiled back, but it felt oddly forced. “You go ahead, though.”   
“When this one’s done.” He gestured to his drink.

The rest of the evening was fine; Georgie ignored Jon’s sadness — which, she admitted, did disappear somewhat as he got intoxicated — and focused on his smile. He kept smiling, mostly at her, but also at the table, at the drink, at the microphone once he got up to sing and  _ fuck _ he was hot like that, Georgie thought, which was the first time she’d actually thought properly about the fact that they didn’t have sex. It still didn’t bother her, but it did strike her as odd that she’d never even thought about it. She pushed the thought aside in favour of flirting back at him while he sang, then she went up and sang a soft, acoustic rock song she knew he liked, and enjoyed the way he stared at her with a smile, then he made them sing a duet, which ended with a kiss and a cheer from the rest of the bar.

It was a good evening, giggling in the taxi on the way home, falling asleep in a tangle of limbs on Jon’s bed, still half dressed.


	20. Chapter 20

They went out again the week after, for Georgie's birthday. She dragged Jon along to a Hungarian restaurant, even if she knew he didn't love it, and he promised not to say anything about it.

"I had a good time," she said as they were walking back to their flat, hand in hand. "How come we mostly have good times when we're out?" She missed fear less often, but she missed it just then.

"Because it's special." Jon smiled softly at her, but the sadness hadn't left his eyes.

"You're sad," she said, leaning up on her toes to kiss his cheek. "You've been sad for a while. How come?"

"Georgie…" He averted his eyes. "It's your birthday, let's not do this now."

"When then, Jon?"

"Tomorrow." He kissed her softly, still walking. "We'll talk tomorrow. I promise."

"Okay."

Later that night, it didn't escape Georgie's notice when Jon left her bed and didn't come back for another two hours, smelling like smoke and placing a kiss on her forehead before he went to sleep.

The next morning, Georgie made breakfast for both of them while Jon did some reading, then she made him put the book away while they ate.

"We need to talk," she said. "Properly. I said yesterday you're sad, what's up?"

"Georgie…"

"Talk to me, Jon, please."

"Okay." He sighed. "Okay. I started smoking last year because of stress and it… Hasn't stopped. Like I told you, there is some unfinished business in London, and it keeps… Hmm. It feels like there is a knife's edge resting on my spine. It doesn't cut yet, but I'm constantly aware that a little bit of pressure, one more thing going wrong, too much time with gravity, could make me bleed. And I can relieve it a little bit, smoking or— Or with you, but it's still there." He was staring at the table. "And I want it gone, but I can't yet."

"Why London?"

"What?"

"You've never lived in London, you're from Bournemouth. You moved from there to here. Why London?"

"Old friends." He stirred his coffee, clearly fidgeting more than needing it. "New friends. New things. Old facts."

"That's incredibly vague."

"You know I won't tell you. This is how I don't lie."

"I know." Georgie sighed and took his hand. "You know, mum warned me about you. She said… She said you were sad, which meant that you were leaving, either for someone else or— Or because you were suicidal. So I worry."

"I love you."

"That's not what I'm worried about, Jon." Several seconds of silence. "Are you suicidal, Jon?"

"No, I— No." He looked up, then. "I've thought about it, sure, I mean, who hasn't at least for a moment? But I've never even been close to going through with it, don't worry. I don't think I want to die."

"That's not as comforting as you want it to be."

"I'm sorry." He smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." She shook her head. "I'm just worried about you."

"You don't have to be."

"That's not going to stop me."

"No, I suppose not."

"Jon?"

"Yes, love?"

"Stay."

"Georgie, I—"

"I know, that's not what I mean. But right now. Today. Stay."

"Okay." His face softened into something that wasn't quite a smile. "I just need to call Tina and cancel our work."

"Go."

It wasn't the day at home together Georgie had hoped for, but it was Jon; it was the familiar way he held her when they laid on the couch, the way he had even before they'd started dating, the way he was bored with the movie within two minutes, but watched it until the end without complaining.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my professional opinion, Jon needs to stop

There was a silence between them for the rest of the term, an unspoken agreement not to bring up anything that might upset what time they had. Georgie both hated and loved it; hated it because she was always an advocate of speaking your mind and working through issues, loved it because, well, it was Jon, and he loved her even with the uneasy tension between them, and he wasn't acting different, so she could get to enjoy her time with him.

Eventually exams and matriculation and graduation and all that stuff rolled around, a whirl of activity. Georgie's parents came down, clapping extra loudly for both her and Jon, giving both of them hugs and presents — Jon accepted his graciously, but Georgie knew he felt bad about it, for whatever reason — and were just there.

They finally got a moment alone in the evening, when they headed to bed. "Jon?"

"Yes?"

"We've graduated."

"We have." He smiled, barely visible in the dark of his bedroom. "Congratulations."

"You too."

"Thanks." He leaned over and kissed her. "Something wrong?"

"No, just… It's just a lot."

"It is." He held out his arms. "Come here."

"Jon…"

"I'm getting used to it, you know," he said as he pulled her close. "Sleeping like this." He kissed her hair. "Goodnight Georgie."

"Goodnight Jon." She relaxed into his embrace. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The flat felt empty. Jon hadn’t left, not yet, but he had begun packing up his stuff, and it showed. Suddenly most of the books were gone, the neatly aligned notebooks and messily scattered pencils, and there were boxes stacked in his room, boxes that hadn’t been there before. Georgie didn’t mention it to Jon, not that she could’ve said why; something about the lingering feeling that she should be afraid of him getting upset, the genuinely not wanting to upset him even if she wasn’t sure she would, and the determination not to taint what time they had left together with sadness.

It was Jon, though. “You’re sad,” he said one evening, holding her close before sleep. “Or something’s bothering you, somehow. What’s up?”   
“Just… It just feels empty.” Georgie pushed closer to him, stealing the warmth from his body. “I’m going to miss you.”   
“I’m gonna miss you too, of course I am.” There was that gentle ghostly smile in his voice. “I’ll come visit as soon as possible.”   
“You promise?”   
“Of course I promise.” He laughed, still ghosted, but his usual laugh, and pulled back just far enough to kiss her. “I want to see you.”

“Good.” She smiled. “I’d be mad if you didn’t.”   
Jon hummed in reply and pulled her closer. “I love you.”   
“I love you too.”

Georgie didn’t say anymore, until she was sure Jon was asleep. Steady breathing, letting her go, clearly asleep.

“That bit about wanting to see me was a lie, though, Jon,” she whispered into the silence. Jon’s steady breathing didn’t change, and Georgie went to sleep with unease.


	22. Chapter 22

Jon didn’t leave until early August, and when he did, it was with hugs and kisses and promises of many visits. Georgie hated to see him off — she couldn’t even go with him, had work keeping her in Oxford the weekend he moved — but she felt strangely reassured by the fact that he hadn’t broken up with her. If he was going to, she told herself, he would have then.

Madeline moved back in. Michael had, in her words,  _ developed some uncomfortable habits _ , and she’d wanted to break up with him for a while, just needed a place to live. Georgie didn’t mind; she liked Madeline, they’d gotten along well for the four months they’d lived together back when Georgie had started university again, and it was nice to leave the place feeling somewhat familiar, even if it was an old familiar.

Jon called every night, and she could hear the smile in his voice, even if he always evaded talking about what exactly he was doing. He did, however, talk about the flat he’d found — he said  _ our flat _ even though Georgie had never been there — and the guy who ran the 24-hour kiosk next door, and who seemed to always be on shift no matter what time it was, and who remembered Jon’s cigarette brand after the first time he was there. He talked about London, about the charity shop he’d gotten lost in, about the way he seemed to walk in circles without ever turning any corners. Georgie listened and told him about Madeline, how she’d forgotten how loud she could be, how she had to remember to actually use her own bed, how excited she was for the semester to start up.

Madeline had never softened to Jon. “So he just left?” she asked over dinner, after making Georgie explain why exactly Jon had moved when they were still together. “Didn’t even tell you why?”

“He had some stuff to tie up.” Georgie shrugged. “We talked it to death, Maddy, there’s not much else to say. It’s fine.”   
“You don’t seem fine.”   
“I miss him.” Georgie was almost surprised to hear tears in her voice. “Of course I do.”

“I know.” Madeline smiled sympathetically. “I miss Michael too, sometimes. It’s different, I know, but still.”   
“Yeah.”   
“I have an idea.”   
“What?”   
“Girls night in. I’m gonna go buy some cheap wine and ice cream, you find us some movies, and we take the night together. How does that sound?”   
“Good.” Georgie smiled, but she was full-on crying now. “Yeah, that sounds good, I’ll just call Jon and say goodnight while you’re out.”   
“Great!” Madeline put her plate in the kitchen. “Dishes can wait until morning.”   
“Alright.”

Once Madeline was gone, Georgie called Jon. “Georgie?”   
“Hi Jon.”   
“Hi love. Anything up?”   
“Just wanted to talk for a bit. Madeline and I have plans tonight, so I thought now might be a better time.”

“I’m just headed out.” There was real regret in Jon’s voice. “I have a meeting.”   
“It’s 7pm.”   
“Nonetheless.” There was the ghost of a smile to his voice. “I’ll have more time tomorrow.”   
“Okay.” Georgie tried — and, she hoped when Jon didn’t comment, succeeded — to keep the tears out of her voice. “I just miss you.”   
“I miss you too. But I can probably come up next weekend, if you have time.”   
“Of course.” Georgie smiled into the phone. “Yeah, I’d love that.”   
“Great.” Jon sounded distracted. “I really do have to go now. I love you.”   
“I love you too.”

He hung up too quickly, but if he really was busy — and she believed him, of course she did — that wasn’t unusual.

When Madeline came back, Georgie put Jon out of her mind in favour of making Madeline rewatch the original  _ Star Wars  _ movies (well, the first one) with her, eating ice cream and drinking cheap wine and laughing at bad jokes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter, I guess. There might be an epilogue because I'm a sucker for a good epilogue, check back in in two days

Jon came up Friday evening, immediately pulling Georgie into a tight hug when he saw her on the platform.

Georgie smiled. “Someone missed me,” she teased.

“Of course I missed you,” Jon replied, smiling. “I always do.”   
“Right.” Georgie pulled back far enough to kiss him. “Let’s go.”   
They walked back to Georgie’s flat hand in hand, occasionally turning to smile at one another. It was lovely, Georgie thought, but then again, it was Jon; of course it was lovely.

He took her out for dinner that night, at the Hungarian restaurant she loved; it wasn’t even her idea.

They walked back home. “This has been a good evening,” George said, their hands swinging back and forth between them.

“It has,” Jon agreed, taking his hand back for a moment to light a cigarette. “I’ve really missed you, I’m not used to living alone.”

“Well, you won’t be for much longer,” Georgie teased. “Just give me a year and I’ll be right there.”

“Of course.” Jon stopped walking and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. “I love you.” There was something sad in his eyes, but something real and intense, too.

“I love you too.” Georgie couldn’t help but smile; she really had missed him. More than she’d really realised. Missing was a background emotion, she realised, not one that she paid attention to, just a faint unease that was so habitual she only recognised it by the relief of its disappearance, like the sound of the bathroom fan or the din of traffic.

Jon kept his arm around her waist for the rest of the walk home.

Madeline was still up when they got back. “Had a good night, kids?”

“I’m literally older than you,” Georgie complained. “But yes, it was a good night.”

“Good.” Madeline smiled. “Jon can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure.” He shrugged and let go Georgie, kissing her cheek. “I’ll be a moment, I guess.”

“Alright, I’ll go get ready for bed.” She smiled slightly

Jon didn’t look entirely happy when he came into her bedroom some ten minutes later.

“What happened?” Georgie asked.

“Nothing special.” He made a good show of nonchalance, but Georgie could see straight through him. “The usual.  _ Don’t hurt my friend’s feelings or you’ll have to answer to me,  _ that kind of thing. I’m just surprised I haven’t had it from her before.” Jon wasn’t lying, exactly, but he was keeping something back. “I guess she’s noticed that the distance is hard on you.” The soft smile he sent her was real, though.

“I guess.” Georgie held out her arms. “She’s not wrong, you know, it is rough.”

“I know.” Jon laid down and pulled her close. “And I am sorry, but…”

“It’s fine.” Georgie breathed in deep, burying her head in the nape of his neck. “We’ve talked it over, there’s no changing it now. No reason to discuss it more.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Jon squeezed her for a moment, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “Goodnight Georgie. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Georgie noticed Jon relaxing, but he didn’t let her go. “Goodnight Jon.” She stayed in his arms for the night.

Jon took a train back to London in the early afternoon on the following Sunday.

They were sitting in Georgie’s room, Jon packing the last few of his things, while Georgie sat on the bed. “There’s something we need to talk about,” Jon said, zipping up his bag.

“Oh?” Georgie did not miss fear in that moment; she was pretty sure the lack of utter dread at his words was the only thing keeping her voice steady.

“I love you.” He still had his back to her. “I do, that’s not it, but… I don’t like the distance. I don’t like keeping secrets or lying, I don’t like the fighting. I just don’t think this will work for the whole year, and I figured… Well. It’s easier to end it now.”

“Jon?” Sadness was not fear, Georgie realised. Neither was loss. She felt both. “Jon, look at me. Please.”

He turned slowly. His voice had been steady enough, but there were tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, just… Why didn’t you do this when you left? You’ve been thinking about it for a while, I’d guess, so why wait?”

“I wanted to see if being away would help.” He looked at the floor. “Or if being without you was too hard. And it was hard, and seeing you was such a relief, but then I talked to Madeline, and… It’s not fair to you to keep having one foot out the door, so to speak.”

“Not fair?” Georgie knew anger wasn’t productive, but she couldn’t help the feelings that welled up. “You know what’s not fair, Jon? You lying to me for  _ months _ . You constantly avoiding telling me anything, never letting me help you. You know what? I’m glad you’re doing this, because I really should have months ago, and I didn’t. Because I loved you, and I thought you could change. Thanks for proving me wrong.”

Jon’s expression shuttered. “I need to catch the train.” He shouldered his bag. “Goodbye Georgie.”

Georgie didn’t reply, just watched him leave.

When the front door closed, she started crying.


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said there might be an epilogue, so here it is

Georgie wasn't expecting Jonathan Sims to walk back into her life. Sure, Melanie had mentioned him, and she'd spoken to one of his assistants briefly — Jon had assistants now, apparently — but she didn't expect the man himself.

"Jon?" It was too late to really expect a social call. "You look like hell."

"Hi Georgie." He smiled slightly. "Sorry, I just… I don't really have anywhere else to go right now."

"Come on in." She stepped aside. "Quickly so the Admiral doesn't get out."

"The Admiral?"

Jon was replied by a meow and the appearance of the Admiral himself.

"Yes, the Admiral." Georgie picked up the cat and kissed the top of his head.

"Right." Jon closed the door behind him. "Thank you. It's… It's been a long day."

"I'll make coffee." She turned towards the kitchen. "You're telling me the story, this time."

"I— Yes, of course."

By the time they were both sat on her couch, a mug of coffee each, the Admiral curled up between them, Georgie had gotten used to his presence again.

"So," she said. "What happened."

"Ah, uhh… A work dispute, I suppose you could call it."

"A work dispute?" She raised an eyebrow. "What kind of work dispute makes you turn up at your ex's door in the middle of the night?"

"The kind that leaves me temporarily homeless." Jon sighed. "I'll try to find somewhere to stay, but I don't have many friends, and you were the only one whose address I actually knew, I don't have my phone. Well, the only one who's not involved in… All of this."

"All of what?" Georgie wondered how the hell a  _ work dispute  _ left him temporarily homeless, but she was happy to let him crash.

"My job. Melanie mentioned you, and well, I don't know her well enough to do this, but she said you didn't speak badly of me, so I hoped there was enough sentimentality to elicit some sympathy." The soft smile he sent her was familiar, but didn't elicit much feeling in her anymore.

She shrugged. "Sure. I have a guest room, you can crash if you need to. But there's more you need to tell me. Melanie said you work at the Magnus Institute?"

"Yeah, I do. Did, maybe. I don't know." He sighed and downed his coffee. "You know what it is?"

"Jon, I run a ghost hunting podcast, of course I know what the Magnus Institute is."

"Right, of course." He ghosted a laugh. "Well, some stuff came up, I'm not sure how much I can talk about it just yet, but I can't go home."

"Alright." She nodded. "I can respect NDAs."

"Thank you, Georgie."

"No worries." She downed her own coffee. "I'm gonna sleep, the guest room is there." She pointed at the door. "Linen is in the closet. Leave the door open, the Admiral likes to be in there and I know you're not allergic."

"Right. Thanks." Jon got up. "I'll see you tomorrow, Georgie."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She left him in the living room.

Georgie hadn't expected Jonathan Sims to walk back into her life, but then again, he had a habit of showing up. And given their jobs, she was surprised he'd shown up socially before he showed up professionally, but she was happy he had; she'd always so hated Jon when he'd tried to act professional.


End file.
